Friday, April 15, 2011

Drained out...

Right now I am completely exhausted.. I have no energy, no enthusiasm, no excitement, basically nothing to look forward to.. Every morning I just get up, do the routine, get ready and leave for office half heartedly.. There is nothing good waiting for me when I come to office.. Its just another drag day for me.. I keep on reading the whole day.. Nothing concrete to work upon.. When I come back home in the evening, I am so exhausted and tired that I just want to fall into the bed and sleep, even if it means that I have to skip my dinner.. I have no interest in cooking.. Its becoming a huge task for me to cook every evening.. Blame it on the heat or my mood or people around me or the whole atmosphere in general..

Last week I did take a couple of days off to spend in Mumbai.. But once I came back, I was even more tired.. My mind keeps telling me that I need a break from this monotonous routine. I am coming to a point to realize that probably I am not doing what interests me.. At the same point I also know that I have continue to do this until I am relieved of the financial responsibility that I have... Till that time, I am stuck..

I have also realized that I am playing an agony aunt to a lot of people these days, which is also perhaps one of the reasons why I am not full of energy for myself. A lot of my friends are going through a lot in their personal lives.. I appreciate the fact that they share it with me, but at the end of it, it completely drains me out. They want to talk to me every second day.. I cant say No to any one of them. They all are my good friends.. Sometimes there are days when I dont want to chat with anyone, except for the one with whom I want to.. Still I cant ignore anyone's call or message. I know they are going through a bad phase in their lives.. They need a friend to be there only to listen..

In between all this, I end up eating wrong kind of food. I have gained weight due to this.. I have an ever lasting craving for sweets, which I find extremely hard to curb. I have to divert my attention to something else.. I have stopped buying chocolates otherwise I shall end up eating all of them together.. I need to go for regular morning walk, which I have not been able to. The only reason being, I am so sleepy every morning. I do go to sleep at a decent time.. But my dreams are not nice.. I dont remember them exactly but when I get up in the morning, I know that I dreamt something strange, rather weird.

There is a lot going on around me personally and professionally. I simply want to be out of this place for sometime. I have not taken a vacation more than one and a half years which could also be the reason for the current state. I need to spend sometime away from everyone in the lap of the nature... I want to cut off from this whole world for a bit.. I want to go back to Doon and spend some time there. I want to meet Mam.. I know I am coming back to this phase very often lately but I cant help it.. I am just so tired of everything and everyone around me.. I need a break or I will break...

5 comments:

weourlife said...

Ah it happens to me as well, I was exactly like this 2months ago, when the weather was very harsh and we had short days. Now I feel much better. I am sure you too will feel good, just take a break from your regular routine, exercise will make you more energetic..Stay calm and relax..

Psych Babbler™ said...

It really does sound like you are burnt out. Too much stress from work and the financial responsibilites can do that to you. Do take care...and yeah...take a break if possible. It's a vicious cycle unfortunately...been there myself and continue to go through it every now and then...

Take care... *Hugs*

Anonymous said...

Get married. I know. Its very difficult to choose a right guy because they hardly exist in this world. But I don't see any other option. I am also in the same category. I understand what I am going through...and so I understand what you are going through. May God help us.

Soulmate said...

@weourlife & PB - Thanks..
@Anon - I know better what is needed.. and I would really appreciate comments with names attached rather than just anonymous comments..

Anonymous said...

Human beings are those who feels the pain when others are in pain. But we should never have heart for anyone. Because if we will have then....

Have great years ahead.

Good Bye