Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Strangled Marriages and estranged relationships....

Here comes again the much coveted topic of marriages, relationships, spouses... Though I do believe in the institution of marriage but not at the cost of sacrificing one's individuality.. Yes, marriage is good in its own way but not if you have to forego your own personality and accept it just because it has to be... For me, marriage means coming together of two individuals who can complement each other for a life time. There should be love, respect and more over acceptance... And if there is no love left, its better to move out rather than drag on the relationship just for the sake of it..

Why have I chosen to write about moving on, is because currently I am in contact with two very close friends, who are going through a tough phase in their married lives.. And to come to think of it, in one of the case, the couple is my friend.. Lets put it like this... Couple 1 where V = Boy, M = Girl... Couple 2 where I know only the girl. Lets call her R.

In the case of first couple, I know V since childhood. Though he is not my friend directly but we have known each other since school days. Our families have known each other.. He treats me like his elder sister.. We have many childhood memories of good and some funny stuff that have happened in our lives.. For me, there was no difference between him and my brother.. We always used to joke, that it will always be V who will get married first among all of us.. We even had a bet.. So when V's marriage was fixed, we are all elated.. The first marriage of a close friend and ofcourse we won the bet.. V's wife M is quite young to him.. The moment I met her, she and I developed an instant liking for each other.. She loves me more than her own sister.. Same goes for me.. I love her to death.. Absolutely fun loving and an extremely nice person.. I thought that they made a very good pair and was thankful to God that they made such a nice pair.. Things were alright for sometime, till I discovered that M has been spending a lot of time away from V.. First I thought that it could be due to her studies, exams.. But when the time gap increased, I spoke to her since I could feel the tension.. She broke down.. V had been ill-treating her.. He had not only mentally abused her but physically as well... He had beaten her to black and blue.. He had done everything that a man could possibly do to break the marriage.. I did not know how to react.. Anger, frustration, sadness, tears all came to me at one go.. I just feel like punching V's face hard.. M is devastated currently.

Take the case of second couple.. R is my friend since a long time.. almost 10 years.. She is a very very simple girl who doesnt have any big dreams.. She simply wanted to get married and settle down with her husband, have kids, raise a family.. Fair enough.. After a lot of difficulty when she eventually got married, I was extremely happy for her.. We thought that now all her dreams would come true. What happened later on, is anybody's nightmare.. The guy had married her for money since she is working for a long time in a very good company. He took money from her to get his own sister married.. Everyday he used to fight with her.. He tortured her mentally. He made her travel from Pune to Nasik to Mumbai to Nasik and then back to Pune in just two days of time.. He asked her to pay the rent, take care of the household expenses and even asked her to support him since he wanted to go to US to pursue higher studies - all at her cost.. He did not want to spend even a single penny.. Everyday he would ask her to bring certain amount of money from her parents' house. One day she blasted and asked him to get lost.. Now she is back with her parents and is waiting..

Both the girls have decided that they dont want to stay with their respective hubbies anymore.. I completely support their decision.. A man is not needed in our lives so that we can abused by them.. Both of them have decided to move on.. They are going through a lot of emotional imbalance... It has come as a rude shock.. Such incidents leave me thinking - Why do guys marry if they dont want a wife? Why spoil a girl's life? What do they get out of it? Both my friends have my support.. They know that I am there for them whenever required. We have had long talks on how to go about it. What next needs to be done. Since R and I are in the same office, she comes and discusses with me all the progress on her case. I know she needs a lot of support.. I am doing all my bit to make her as strong as can be. I have told her that she doesnt need such a man in her life.. Infact why does she need a man after all. She is educated, independent, can support herself, has her own life, house, friends.. My heart goes out to M, who is sitting miles away from me.. We talk as frequently as possible.. I have asked her to complete her studies, take up a job and move on.. Nothing has happened in her life that can possibly stop her from enjoying life.. Life has not ended for them.. They still have people who care for them and love them. But still at the end of the day, I ask this question multiple times - What wrong have these girls done to suffer like this??


Titaxy said...

What a nightmare both those incidents. I feel so bad for both the girls...I'm glad that they're planning to leave the partners and move on for good. It's the only way they can be happy. Best wishes to to both of them for their future.


roop said...

what explanation does V have for his friends?