Monday, March 01, 2010

Loneliness

Loneliness is creeping all over me. Its growing like weeds grow in a land left unattended. It laughs at me. I have no clue how to get it out of my life. It has a scary face and it succeeds in scaring me. Everytime I try to find a friend, it stands in front of me to tell me that it will not leave me ever. It has decided to stick to me. It is growing like a virus and refuses to go. I find no cure for it. It is growing in such a way that I am losing interest in everything. I try to develop my interest in life or whatever I do, but eventually it fades away. I losing my balance of mind. I have not played guitar for past many weeks. I have not even gone to the class as well. I have stopped reading. Even my work life is affected. I dont feel like working. The list of to-do things at work place is increasing day by day. I dont feel like eating. I have not even planned my holiday trip for this year and this comes as a surprise to myself. Infact I dont even feel like going on a holiday. I have stopped taking pictures. At one point, I had almost decided on buying a D-SLR but eventually I dropped the idea. I have build a wall around myself. I dont even feel like talking to anyone. I know if I try, all I get is excuses from others. Today I did not wish anyone except Mam.. I only get tears in my eyes when I see people around me.. The feeling is of being lonely in a crowd and its getting worse day by day..

5 comments:

ani_aset said...

hey i dunno if you would like to share but heres a big hug >:D< hope that helps..cheer up dearie, this too shall pass trust me

comfortablynam said...

Oh dear girl..don't despair..don't give up..Never..

Buy the DSLR. Go back to the guitar class..Plan that vacation..

Go out and do things..don't look for the loneliness to go away..just do your thing..live life with a smile on the face..and suddenly you will realize the loneliness is no more..because that is how life works..gives you things when stop looking for them..

Loads of hugs..

Anonymous said...

There is really nothing wrong about feeling lonely - sometimes you do it out of choice and sometimes you don't. I once used to enjoy choosing to be lonely and I used to go to this nice cozy bar and catch up with myself. For the last many weeks it was not a choice for whatever changed in my life. It is a different feeling. So I decided to hit that bar which I used to again. A couple of days later I had a gang of regulars from across the continents and it was like looking forward to meeting up with the folks again! It was a remarkable experience.

If you don't meet new people who you can classify as friends, go & spend time with your old friends who you've not met in months. If they are far off, plan that holiday and visit the Friends who have not changed in years!!! Don't just spend minutes, spend hours with them, give them a hug. If you hug a friend for a couple of seconds, you don't feel lonely for a couple of weeks!! When did you last hug a friend and why? Its all about hugging life :)

Anonymous said...

Hey I just reached to your blog while searching something on the net and I have now become frequent reader, the more I read the more I feel it that you are expressing my feelings..
Personally I would like you to become social and stop living in self shell, but I do not know how to do it because I am too living in my own world where I do not want any contact with the outside world.

unsungpsalm said...

Okay, try and identify how lonely you actually are, and if there are people you're shutting out just because you "think" you're lonely.

And stop letting it affect you so much! Immerse yourself in activities that bring you closer to people, so much so that all you want after some while is time by yourself!

And while you're alone, it would help to engage in one-person activities such as cooking, or listening to music and NOT thinking about being lonely while you're doing them...