Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The year that was and is...

Almost a decade of this century is over now.. And it seems to have flew by, considering that I am still thinking about the year 2000 which was quite eventful for me.. Now when I sit back and think about all these years gone, I dont know whether I have lost more or gained more... I know for sure that I have lost much more than I ever thought in terms of relationship(s), but yes I gained a lot of confidence, grew professionally, traveled a lot and have become independent.

I have seen almost each and every aspect of relation that exists. I met a lot of people during this phase and learnt something or the other from each one of them.. Some turned into good friends - friends for life, some just passed by as acquaintances while I have lost touch with most of them.. with some, nothing happened.. Well, all that is part of the game...

Now when I look back at 2000, I wonder what my life would have been if I had not accepted that job offer in Pune.. Would I have still been in Doon or somewhere else.. What would I have been doing?? I know that I always wanted to work.. Looking at the past few years, now I want a break and that also a long one. I want to be at a place where I am at peace. Every year when it dawns, I hope that I dont lose any more relationships.. I have had enough in terms of losing out on them.. Every year I hope that my heart comes to rest and my mind is at peace..

Yes, the loneliness is creeping all over me and sometimes it laughs at me in the silence of darkness.. but I have somehow manage to struggle with it and try to smile.. Sometimes I feel that I am not myself and with each passing year, the distance between me and I is increasing. Like every year, this year also I hope that the sadness inside me dies and start getting happy all over again. I hope I dont lose any more relations... I seriously dont want to... All the best to me.. Amen!!!

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