Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Marriages and Horo(r)scopes

So here comes my pet topic again - Marriage. Ever since I completed my graduation 11 years back, my Mom has been eager to marry me off. Very natural, like every other parent, she wants to see me happy and settled with some nice boy. So the search on war scale started. Discussed with friends, relatives. Tried contacting through newspaper, giving ads, agencies and even the matrimonial sites. But as luck would have it, nothing ever materialized anywhere...

Many a times things were very close to be finalized, but then something or the other happened and it never happened. May be it was not suppose to happen. I have no regrets. At that time, I was not so keen also on getting married. Somewhere down the line, I knew that it wont happen in early 20s.. May be it was my 6th sense..

I found a job and it kept me on my toes with no time left to think about anything. My Mom still continued with her search and was very hopeful.. But as the years progressed, she started feeling dejected at every rejection. I could very well understand her state of mind. Not that she had any high hopes, nor did I. Infact most of the times, things did not even reach me. She does believes in horoscope a lot and according to that, my stars are a little tough. But she was also told that once I cross the age of 27, things would be fine. Still she kept trying..

Now I am 31. Still single. Till few years back, I thought that things are fine and I can manage life, the way it is. Like always, I take life as it comes. No big plans, no high hopes. Just a plain, simple, happy life is what I wish for. I was not serious about marriage before, but now I am. I know what it is to be lonely, when all you need is a hug, a hand to hold, someone to talk to.. A very close school friend of mine asked me to send my horoscope to her. She wanted to help me to find if there is something that could be done. I thought when we have tried all other methods, lets try this one as well. There is no harm in it. Well, the person she showed it to, told her that I have some really bad and tough stars (something I knew already).. He also said that if I dont get married in another 1-1/2 years then it will be really really really difficult in the future. :-)

I didnt know how to react. Its difficult to explain. Not that I completely believe in it, but the way things have been, its forcing me to believe in it. For me marriage is bringing about two souls together who compliment and complete each other. Its the sense of togetherness and the love for each other that matters the most. To have someone next to you, who loves you and whom you can love and care for, holds a lot of importance in life. And to take this relationship forward, one does gets married. Its just a way of being together and be there for each other.. The sheer thought of being lonely for the rest of the life, is threatening. You may have an absolutely loving family and very close friends, but at the end of the day, you do need that someone special. As of now, my hopes seem to die down. I dont want it to happen, but I am forced to believe in it. Its breaking me slowly inside. With every piece breaking, the pain grows and there seems to be no respite....

2 comments:

ani_aset said...

hey soulmate :)
come on dear ..cheer up..>:D<
will pray for you ..dont you worry at all :)..hi5

D said...

I have friends in the real world who are in the same boat as you... I can imagine how it must feel. But as long as there isn't any reason to 'not' get married, there isn't any reason to believe you will not get married! Keep the faith. I'm sure it's only a matter of time.