Saturday, November 29, 2008

Is it over?

My Mumbai has been burnt down. The landmarks have been targetted. The fear has been built-in. People have been killed. Several have been left wounded. Some scared for lifetime. My only question is: why? What is mankind upto? Have we become our own enemies? When will this war end? When will we stop killing each other? Will I feel safe venturing out in Mumbai again? Will I be able to step into Taj again without any fear? Will I visit the marine drive and get photos clicked?

Everytime there is a war or attack, we first look for our own people. How selfish it sounds, but thats the truth. My heart is restless after reading, watching, thinking about what had happened. Though the operation has ended, but has it ended the misery forever? This time it was Mumbai, dont know who is the next in line?

O God!! Please dont let this mankind end like this

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My day

31 years ago, I came onto this planet earth on this day - the day was Karthik Purnima according to the Hindu calendar, which also helped my mother to decide my name..

Last year was tough for me, given that I was going through a very bad phase during this time. A lot has changed in this one year. I have become more confident, strong and have built a wall around myself which makes sure that nobody can hurt me. I made a new friend who has become a close friend in a very short span of time. I met a very loving school teacher who means a world to me.

Generally my birthday is just another day with nothing happening. I also dont expect anything to happen on this day. This year it is a working day and for me its just another day.. The moment I reached office, there was a shower of wishes from all over. I was actually surprised that so many people were aware of my birthday and made an effort to wish me. My team members made it all the more special. Even my ex-team members wished me. We went out for lunch. There was a big delicious cake ordered for me. Finally a beautiful bouquet which really touched me. I have never received a bouquet ever from anyone. Though I always thought that may be someday I will also receive a bouquet, whenever I ordered for someone else..

Mom got some good pastry and other delicacies.. She gifted me a lovely sequined purse which I absolutely loved.. All in all it was a good day for me..

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Back from Doon

I am back from my short and sweet visit to Dehra Dun - The place about which I have written a number of times and don’t get tire to write more. I was not born here but I have grown up here. I did my education in this place - not just schooling but my graduation as well as masters. I have spent 13 years of my life in Dehra Dun. More than what I have spent at any other place on this planet. I guess the magic of Dehra Dun grows on you as you live there. Life is easy, peaceful, warm..

This particular trip was all the more close to heart. There were two reasons to make it.. One was a friend's wedding and another a chance to meet a very special teacher - Rita Ma'm.. I could have avoided the wedding considering how hectic it was but the temptation to meet my teacher was too good to resist.. She had never taught me in the school since she was a junior school teacher and I joined the school in senior school. I got in touch with her through another good friend . I consider myself blessed to know her. She had made lunch for me. She took me on a ride way upto the Mussoorie road. Sat there and chatted with her for sometime.. Though I know her for a short time, the amount of love and support she has given me, is tremendous. She is always there for me whenever I need someone to pour my heart out to, listen to me, advice me, guide me. Anybody who knows her is blessed.

Met some old school friends in the evening and that was another time to reminiscence about the old times. Journey from Doon to Delhi was another interesting one since a school friend traveled with me. We could not stop talking and remembering about our old times and the amount of fun that we had. In some way, we all miss the days spent in Dehra Dun.. Now we all are busy with our fast moving and busy professional lives. I really wish sometimes that I could re-live those days again. Doon valley, I shall be back soon...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Doon Valley Calling

Travelling to Dehra Dun today and I am excited all over again. Cant wait to be back in those lovely mountains again, even if it is just for a day. Plan to meet a few friends and a special school teacher..
Looking forward to it..

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fauji Connection

I come from a civil background with a family involving businessmen, teachers and engineers. Nobody close in my family had served in armed forces. Given my love for armed forces, I often end up getting in touch with some officer or the other and that also through weird means.. Sometimes it will be as silly as a wrong phone call .. I have got in touch with them through all strange ways once can think of- internet, friend's friend, cousin's friend, network site, phone call, on a journey, even through blog.

Not that I made any efforts to get in touch with anyone, it all happened by chance. Strange to say that I met all kinds of people in the forces. One of the most amusing part is that I never got in touch with a Naval officer, though my brother is in Indian Navy.. They all have been Army officers. Dont know what games destiny plays and why and how do I get in touch with them.

Remembering about the experiences that I have had till now, they have not been very pleasant ones. Is it because I expect them to be overtly gentleman. Most have them have been dishonest, liars, two-timers. They dont even have the courage to accept the truth. Some would even stoop to a level of trapping you emotionally so that they can have a fun time. Given that I am a tough nut to crack, I have had some unpleasant experiences. Sometimes it has even reached to the extent of breaking all the ties with that person, heated arguments, yelling...

What I dont understand is that why do I meet wrong officers everytime. I am quite sure that this is not the case where every officer is wrong. Why do they keep spoiling the image of forces that I have. Why does destiny brings me in front of a person whose behavior forces me to think that is this the way an officer is. Then why am I so passionate about them and the profession. At the end, you feel like hitting them hard for ruining the respect that Army has.

Agreed that they are away from their families most of the times. But does that give them a right to play with anyone's life and have fun at that cost. Who is responsible for their such uncanny behavior. No doubt that now we have more girls who dont want to get in touch with any army officer. They feel that they can never be faithful. They are selfish. They simply know how to play with someone's life and emotions.

Who has given them a right to lie and make fool of others, just because they are in army. Why am I forced to believe that I should not trust any Army officer. I have always respected and loved this profession. I still do. But why do I always bump into someone who is out to spoil this image. These experiences leave me high and dry..

There was a time when I wanted to be an officer myself. But since I am not into that profession, I had thought that atleast having people of that league around will make me feel good. Not that I made any desperate efforts to find them. I agree that I have more knowledge about Army than any normal civilian would have. This is plainly because of my love and passion to know about them. I have always put this profession on a very high step and have great regards for it. I want that it continues to be there.

But one thing is definitely there. What is the reason that I keep meeting officers through some means or the other. What is connection behind it. My friend is really amused with the number of officers that I know. Sometimes even I think that how does that happen. Destiny I guess!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Disappearance

Its been crazy days for me for the past few weeks. With so much pressure on me personally and professionally, life has been a roller coaster ride.. On top of it, there are other problems that keep cropping up. I know life is like that..

A close friend has disappeared from the scene and it worries me. No messages replied, no phone calls answered. Someone who has become very very close in a short span of time. Someone with whom I share everything that is on top of my head.. Someone who understands. Someone who is not biased. Someone who has become an integral part of the life. Suddenly the person disappears from the scene. Not that his whereabouts are not known. But just that the person is not in touch.

I am trying to figure out what has happened. There is a common link between us - our school teacher. A lady though never taught me or has met me, supports me to no end. She is equally upset about this fact. I guess sometimes we are not able to handle too much of an attention from a person or too much of proximity. We need breathing space and thats what we do by carrying ourselves away from one particular person.

Right now, I am not able to handle the absence. I am restless. I am disturbed. I feel miserable. I dont know the reason. I am simply missing my friend. We got in touch through a strange way and the friendship began and was carried on. We got a chance to meet as well. Staying in different cities can be so punishing at times. Why does life brings us to a point where we dont know what to do. We dont know what the other person is thinking. At the same time we are confused ourselves.

I am sure that there is something that has gone wrong. But what is it. The silence kills me. I find it hard to take in. I am praying that the friend bounces back and gets in touch. Its needed.