Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Time for final verdict

Next time, after the dilemma, making compromises and thinking about the marriage, the time has come to take the final decision.. Trust me, I am scared to death to take this step. Its a life time decision for me and my whole life will be dependent on this. I have no idea what the future has to bring in for me. Like anyone else, even I also dont know what will happen.

I am not at all confident at this moment. Even after talking for the second time, I am still in the indecisive mode. And I find it very natural. I have my own set of apprehensions and fear. My independence will be gone. I will be sharing my life with an unknown person. Will I be compatible with him, considering that I am no cool person? Will I have a say in the decisions that are taken later on? What will be my stand in the family? How well am I able to accept them and how well do they accept me. For me adjustment takes a bigger stand than compromise.

They say that a lot goes from the girl's side to make or break a relationship. For me, it takes both the partners to carry the relationship further. Walking an extra mile is not an issue with me, provided I know that my partner will support me. He needs to stand by me like a rock, come what may. I need my partner to reciprocate my love, make me understand what is right and wrong whenever I falter. He should be someone; I can straightaway look upto in times of difficult situation. I want someone who knows that being a human; I am bound to make mistakes just like any other person.

I have been asked to think, think and re-think. Ofcourse it has to be a very conscientious decision on my part. I need to be 100% sure of what I am getting into. I should be prepared to forego with some important things of my life. Life will take a straightaway 180 degrees turn.. It will be completely different from what it is today, and when I say completely, I mean completely. Whatever I am doing right now, will not be there.

I am passing through a difficult time and the only support, as of now, comes from some of my really close friends. They try to make me feel at ease and I am really thankful to them.. I still think, what the chances of meeting again are. Is that a possibility? Even if I talk again, what is the probability that I will be able to decide.. I am into a vicious circle...

3 comments:

Cynic in Wonderland said...

marriage is a leap of faith for anyone. it doesnt matter how well you know the person. and its not an easy decision. guess at the end of the day it needs to feel instinctively okay. and you need to feel safe with the guy. everything else can be worked upon.

i knew the husband for close on two years before i got married. and inspite of that i was completely paranoid. so thats fairly normal.

Neilina said...

Don't worry...I am also in the same situtation and can well understand your inner feelings. Sometimes in life you have to give a shot. Believe me after some months, I will surely get to read a blog which will show your excitement and happiness. Go into the relationship with full confidence. Decisions are meant to be taken........and I may be finally,be also deciding for my future.
Take care!

Pilot-Pooja said...

I can say only one thing:

Only the best will happen to you, considering the fact that you always wish the best for everyone ard you!!

Good luck!!

God Bless!!