Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Dilemma

After all the arranged marriage issue, making compromise - here comes the big one. Dilemma of saying a 'Yes' or a 'No'.. How do the elders expect us to decide in just a meeting and a talk of 15 minutes that we will be able to take the decision. Also when there are other conditions involved like: No work after marriage. Other conditions: Do not ask the boy about his income, no need to ask the boy about his exact nature of work even if you dont understand what he told you hi-level.

This is getting on my nerves as bad as it can get. The unending questions like: What is the need to meet the boy again? What is it that you want to talk about with the boy? Why do you want to know about his work? The reason given by elders is: We know the family, we have met them, we know about their status, they are well off.. Phew!! Poor girl.. Where does she go...

I fail to understand if the girl is not allowed even this tiny bit of independence, then why do we educate them and make them capable of thinking logically. Why do we allow them to develop themselves into a mature thinking adult who knows what is right or wrong. I dont doubt the intentions of the elders and other involved but its the girl who has to spend life with that boy. Isnt it fair enough for her to be satisfied before she decides on such a big decision of her life..

A person who has already crossed the mark of thirty is capable of making decisions that will impact the rest of his life. The person is grown up enough to be a parent yet the parental pressure. If that is not enough, comes the emotional pressure- The mediator is your well-wisher, they know what is good for you, they will find the best match for you, You shall be the happiest there, you are not in the age of making choices, the biological clock is ticking away... Comes the final question: Say a 'Yes' or a 'No'(You better say 'Yes' because you dont have a choice).. Marriage is such a big dilemma. I still dont understand how do people decide in a conversation of just 15 minutes.

5 comments:

BlueMist said...

Are you serious ? I think you need to convince your parents about second meeting before final decision. I mean isn't it all issues getting resolved than landing up in divorce later ? I am sure your parents will understand you !!

Neilina said...

Exactly, like this happened with one of my cuz, after just a 15 mins meeting, she had to say 'yes' or 'no'. Gosh! This is really horrible. I just pray this should not happen with me.
Don't know why independence is not given to us!

Morpheus said...

15 mins allowed for a decision for the rest of your life!!?? Hello?? are you serious? ask everyone to back off and decide yourself..meet again if you want to, if the man is a reasonable fellow..he will be ok with it. Ask him what he does, ask him what he earns. Pls dont gamble with your life, it is YOUR life..you have a right to ask..you dont need a penis to be able to use your brain you know!! 30 working, independent, educated woman...you take control of your life..these 'elders' have nothing to lose!they will only move on to pestering the next person in the marriage queue.

Soulmate said...

This actually happened and I had to make a hulla about the second meeting. Everyone had to gave in, seeing my strong decision. I had to make them understand that its MY life. I am the one who has to live with that person. They will not be there. God, making them understand is another BIG task..

bhumika said...

And i thought i was the only one whose parents expect such weird things! The only difference is i'll get an hour or so. But still, how would one know about the guy. Obviously, since he's come for marriage, he'll put forth his best. Arranged marriage is such a dilemma!