Saturday, October 04, 2008

Compromise

Sometimes you reach a situation in life where you have to make a compromise, even if that is half-heartedly or rather with no heart. I guess thats why it is called compromise - the middle path where you think more about the others' happiness. Though my last post clearly stated, how uncomfortable I was about getting married to someone through arranged marriage, still I gave in to the plans which Mom had made, since it was to please her...

No, nothing is finalized and I am pretty doubtful as well, like always.. But still I supported her plans or whatever she had thought. In the end I thought that atleast Mom is happy. Also I was being selfish somewhere thinking that tomorrow I can tell that I always supported in all the plans that Mom made about my marriage. I am still not convinced about the whole arranged marriage thing but am doing it out of no choice. My Mother has other responsibilities and I always that there is big hindrance because of me..

Mothers being mothers will do their best to make us happy. Like any parent, even my Mom wants me to settle down, have a family, husband, kids.. I even gave in to her plans to avoid any emotional scene or confrontations. I thought if this is something that makes her happy, then let it be. Atleast I have the final word of saying a 'Yes' or a 'No' in the end. Its a different thing that everyone expects a positive note in the end, which never happens. May be its destiny or may be God has thought something else for me.

One thing is for sure. With each of these incidents, my interest in the whole marriage affair is dying down. I may sound like a pessimistic person but this is what I feel. I am not against marriage but I need to connect with the person before I get married to him. I need to feel for him. I want to know him. I want him to feel for me. I want to know the person. For me its very important to have the emotional bonding before I get married. But the way situation has been and currently is, I am not sure of anything. I am in the state of compromise much to my disappointment and I am trying to figure a way out of this.

2 comments:

Morpheus said...

You will not be doing anyone any favours by giving in to pressure to make them happy. They want YOU to be happy..and you have to decide that. Arranged marriages dont always allow people to get to know each other before hand..but things are changing..and people like you are changing them. Meet/ chat/ sms..and then decide..getting married is the easiest part...
You are not a burden/ hindrance to anyone.shake out of this..martyr spirit..you smart qualified income generating woman!!

Soulmate said...

I really wish it was the case like this Morf.. But no.. the guys are still in that frame of mind, where you decide in just one meeting. Feel like running away where no one will pressurize me to get married to an unknown person. Its scary.. Trust me..