Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Marriages

Back to one of my most thought about topic : Marriage. The thought also generates from the fact that I have almost crossed the right age for marriage (according to most of the people around me) and I am provoked by every second relative/friend to settle down at the drop of a hat before it is too late(as if it is not already as per them!!)..

Every few months I hear some prospective proposal coming my way to be assessed. I am not sure why, but this whole idea of arranged marriages is difficult for me to digest. How am I supposed to decide in just one hour that Yes, this is the one for me. Also its really important for me to love a person before I can decide about the next step. All the show-off associated with the arranged marriage puts me off.

So when yesterday my Mom spoke about some boy, my mind was blocked. I am not able to open myself to an arranged marriage sort of thing. I cant go through the act of girl meeting a boy from the marriage perspective. And not just that, but when the whole family gets involved and they pressurize you as to how you should look, walk, talk, behave. At that time, I simply want to push everyone away from me. I want to yell at the top of my voice: This is my life. Please let me decide who I want to spend it with.

The whole arranged marriage affair brings about a heated argument between my Mom and me. She has her point that I am getting old. You need to find someone for yourself. There is a right age for everything. You need to start the family as well later. At that point, I simply want to run away from there. I am not against marriage but arranged marriage, is I guess, not my cup of tea. Meeting a person from the marriage point of view, which has been arranged by the parents does not go well with me..

How can they expect me to like someone in one meeting and decide about the future life. Am I not taking a bigger risk by allowing myself to be ruled by someone, whom I dont even know? And the argument takes even a more ugly picture when the relatives start poking in as well- This cousin is married, that one is getting married, another one had a baby and another is expecting... You are the eldest of them all. God!! Give me a life.

Life does not end if someone is not married. It seems as if its a big crime, since I am not married till now. For me, marriage is about two souls coming together in the course of time, who decide that they want to be with each other in the times to come. They need to feel the commitment from inside and not just because they are married. The love and respect has to be there for each other. I would rather be single and happy rather than being married where we dont love each other and be unhappy.

3 comments:

Morpheus said...

It is like playing Russian roulettte with your life. You might strike lucky, you might kill yourself. I dont see the point. You would rather be happy the way you are rather than risk the whole thing by getting married! It might work, yes, but then one meeting is not enough to make that decision. Meet, chat, like, date, meet, think..then decide.

Soulmate said...

I totally agree with you. I simply dont want to risk my life only for the sake of being 'married'. I wish I could explain this to others who are after me to get married and marry me off.

BlueMist said...

I can understand and agree when you say you need to love the person before you marry.

Marriage should be personal choice no two doubts. But it has to be practical as well. one should be ready for being lone tad in your old age. Right now may be among the crowd of friends one may not miss that someone but at one point in life when all friends are busy with their life one might land up feeling lonely.

Secondly I am sure these days even the arrange marriages are liberal. where girls get enough time to meet the person and know each other. This dekho-dikhao business is irritating I agree.

For some people having kids are vital part of it. if that is concern the kicking biological clock can be one of the concern.

but ultimately one should be ready for the marriage I feel. Just age,social pressure should not be the only reasons.

P.S - sorry for taking up so much space. You can skip to publish this one if u feel !!