Saturday, September 06, 2008

Finished eight years

of working on this planet on 4 Sep.. I know.. It seems like yesterday when a young girl of barely 22 years old, straight out of college from small city - Dehra Dun got a job in Pune.... How insecure, frightened and nervous she was... There was not even a single element of excitement in her.. All that she was worried about was: how will she manage alone in that big city.. She has never been out of house before... will she be able to work in such a big organization.. Will she be able to deliver what is expected out of her? What if she fails??

That was me... Eight years ago.. I remember how much I cried when I got the job and had to leave for Pune.. The whole idea of staying away from the family was too much for me at that time, considering the situation that was... I was sure that I will move to Pune only if my Mom moves in with me, otherwise I cant take up the job... I had my turbulent times.. Even when the whole software industry faced a recession in 2001, I managed to pull through with all my hard work and dedication.. All I could see at that time was work and my chance to prove my worth... I worked in day in day out, all night and the rewards did come through...

I have changed my job just once since 2000 and that was purely because of personal reason rather than a professional reason... These eight years have taught me a lot.. I have become much more confident, stronger, mature and to an extent wise... I traveled a lot, though they were all personal trips and now I can also say that I am quite well traveled. All thanks to the job that allowed me to fulfill this dream of mine. I managed to make some absolutely wonderful friends during this journey of eight years... I made mistakes both in my personal and professional life and learnt a lot from them...

Now when I look back, I think I did more than I had ever thought in my professional career. Never had I imagined that I will move out of Dehra Dun to take up the job of a software engineer (without any professional qualification) in an alien city like Pune... When I left Pune three years back, again I thought that I will not go back to the city again.. But as fate would have it, I did go to Pune last month, though for just few hours to meet a friend..

Eight years of my professional journey seems long to me... My life has changed so much.. Friends have changed.. People around me changed their attitude... In some way, my attitude towards life has also changed.. I actually dont want anything more now.. All I have in my life is this job and pressure to work more.. Nothing more... Nothing less.. I guess, my loneliness is taking over and coaxes me to run away from work more often...

Now I need a long break from work and think and decide what is next for me.. I have reached a stage where I dont want to work anymore, atleast for sometime. Sounds depressing, but thats how it is... I wish I had that choice but I dont!! Till then I shall continue working....

2 comments:

BlueMist said...

Oh i know what you mean !!
Even I felt in the same way. and here I am enjoying this break :)

roop said...

hey! first time here and so know what you mean. just a few days ago, i was reading my blog from teenage ... and it didn't even feel like i was reading the same person. :)