Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Need space

My Space - One thing that everyone craves for. No matter whether you stay with your family, friends, relatives, room mates, partners, colleagues, spouse or just alone.. We all crave for that my space where nobody is allowed to enter or interfere. I find it fair enough.

Living life so compactly with people surrounded by you all the time, makes you yearn for that space. And this is the space where you dont even want your beloved ones to enter as well.. At the same time, its extremely important that we give the same kind of space to others as well.. Others get the feeling that they can enter into your life and start interfering once you start sharing with them much more than they need to know or more than they had expected.

How much we share with them or how much do we intent to know about them constitutes the whole thing.. But where do we draw that line?? Thats the question. Once we draw the line, can we ever cross it without letting the other person feel that we are trying to get into their space. I have personally experienced that it all depends on us. We can allow people to walk all over us, enquire about us, comment about our lives, give those absolutely not needed advises only if we allow them to do so. If we decide that what we want to share and what not, the person will DARE not..

I am also not ignoring the fact that there are those nosey, pokey kinds who are always restless to know about you and the cause of their sleepless night is, you not sharing your personal life with them. Not that they are concerned about you or genuinely going to help you, but they simply want to enter your space and know about you. It gives them a high and a kind of ego boost that you share everything with them. Such people instantly put me off and make me go aloof with them even more.. sometimes to the extent that I may even stop talking to them anything about me...

When you stay with a person 24/7, it becomes even more important to have that expectation clear with them. I have known people who tend to go overboard with their feelings and share much more than needed and then repent later on. No matter how much you try to hold them back, it falls on deaf ears.. Once their whole life is an open book, they repent and find it difficult to hide those pages which were not supposed to be read by anyone...

The good way to deal with the situation could be to shut the other person up, if they try to get too pokey and make you uncomfortable. It may sound rude in the beginning but it will pass the message across that you are not sharing more than what is needed. The others need to mind their own business, the same way as we do. We do not enter into their lives and expect the same out of them...

This may not be a perfect solution but it may work out to some extent in having your own space... May be…

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