Monday, March 31, 2008

Break

Last few days, rather weeks have been extremely busy at work... The work is so much that I dont even get time to check my emails, leave updating my posts on the blog or reading another blog. The sad part is that I have been working over the weekends as well... Blue-prints, escalations, monthly reports, weekly reports, assessments, development plans, planning.. Phew.. the list goes on and on... I am so tired that all the time my eyes are heavy.. The only thing that I want to do right now is sleep, sleep and sleep more...

Finally, a little bit of the above is done and I can sigh a relief.. Also there is another reason to feel relaxed. I am going to Cochin soon for three days to attend the award ceremony of my brother. He has been awarded with Nau Sena Gallantry Award and now the actual ceremony is coming up. I was a bit surprised to hear that it will be in Cochin. But now the place does not matters. I want to attend it, by hook or by crook... There is no stopping to it. I have waited for this since quite sometime.. I feel elated to write this.. Hoping to fly off soon and relax there for three days.

This is much needed welcome break for me...

Friday, March 07, 2008

Home Alone

Yippeee... So I am alone at home for the next few days. There is a wedding in Dehra Dun which needs to be attended. Mom agreed to go alone since I could not manage any leaves. Its not that I have never been alone at home ever, but everytime I am left alone, the reaction is the same... The longest span has been of two months recently when Mom was away to Vishakhapatnam to spend time with my brother.

Ofcourse, I do miss her when she is not around.. but still the whole idea puts me on a high... I can watch TV without being interrupted. I can eat all the junk food.. I can live on Maggi.. I can listen to music at a high volume.. I will not have to eat those almonds everyday in the morning.. :-) Above all, I get time to spend with myself. I need that space of my own which comes only when I am alone at home. No, I will not party or call friends over or roam around the city.. nothing of that sort. I simply like that solitude where I am all by myself and the whole world seems to be mine. I like that silence...

But there are instances when I miss her a lot : while eating food, watching TV(since there is none to interrupt me), while sleeping, listening to music loudly.. So practically, every moment I will miss Mom but still I like to be alone. What a paradox!!! I look forward to her coming back, when I will tell her whole lot of stories of what happened, while she was away... I will ask her about everyone in Dehra Dun..

Right now, I am thinking how will I spend my weekend. There is no movie that I want to catch up with. Nothing much of pending work (atleast that I can think of).. No friends here whom I can spend time with. No shopping. No almirahs to arrange. The only thing that I can think of, is sleep. I can sleep, sleep and sleep over the weekend. Infact I am sure, I will end up over-sleeping this weekend and I absolutely love that idea. Probably I will read more than I usually do.. I may listen to some music this weekend. and above all - I will cook for myself this time...

Emotional

Thats what I am!! A hard core emotional. There have been times where I am needed to control my emotions, but I am not able to. Give me a emotional scene to watch or a movie or a book and I get emotional. I am emotional about people - friends, family, kids, Army Officers, situations, circumstances, my country...

I feel bad if something is said about anything or anyone, I am close to. No matter how hard I try, not to be emotional, I do get.. A small scene of a baby sleeping in his mother's lap make me emotional. Its not that my tears start flowing, but I get emotional.. Not the kind of person to hit back, I feel bad and go silent.. Yes, I agree that it gives a feeling to the other person, that he has achieved his motive of hurting me. I do feel many a times, why am I so soft at heart. Why cant I retaliate and answer back. I show a completely different picture when I am at work. I am considered to be someone, who is very strong headed and hard to please. I dont get carried away by the situations here.

But when it comes to my personal life, I am a very soft target. Everytime I decide, that I will not get emotional about anyone or any situation. But still I do get emotional about the situations and I am the only person who gets affected by it. I do wonder often, how people remain so neutral to the situations or is it they know how to suppress their feelings. I need to get over this trait of mine...