Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Travel Bug

The travel bug is bugging me again. Its that time of the year when I plan and think which part of the world I will travel to. I have quite a few options for this year and I am still thinking. The options available are: Leh or North-East India which will include Darjeeling, Shillong, Gangtok, Guwahati and may be Imphal or UK again - including Scotland or Rajasthan - Jodhpur, Jaisalmer, Bikaner, Udaipur. But above all, the main question is where I want to go and how much I can afford to spend. Looking at my current bank balance, it seems to be far from reality to plan to any of these places.

Currently I am looking to travel, somewhere in May. That means I will have salary of three months with me, considering the other expenses as well. That also means I should, atleast decide about the place now, to ensure I have bookings, tickets, itinerary done on time for the travel. Now looking at my current state, I am in a total fix to decide about the place and plan for the travel. I am completely swamped by work and it leaves me no time to think about anything else. Working for more than 12 hours is taking a toll on me now. The moment I reach home, all I want to do is, eat and sleep, only to get up next morning, get ready and rush to work.

This travel will give me the much needed break from work, life, my current state of mind, which is not very good. I want to be away from people whom I know, for sometime. I want to be on my own, with myself and this is possible only with a travel to a new place. I hope that I am able to make my trip.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Shopper's Weekend

Its been a while since I actually went out to enjoy on a weekend and buy something for myself per se.. Last weekend I decided to move out of the house. Staying in Gurgaon does not really help since this place offers nothing except for those malls, where I dont like to go.

I went to Delhi after a long time. One of my favourite place in Delhi to enjoy and relax is Dilli Haat. The place livens me up. The colors, crafts, liveliness, atmosphere, people, food, shopping will make you at ease. The place has everything to offer that you want. Handicrafts, clothes, bags, shoes, hats, scarfs, accessories, jewellery, house hold items, furniture, decoration pieces and above all food stalls from all over the country. Bought a bag, two kurtas, some linen for home, churan and then I had delicious food at the Chandni Chowk Stall. Parathas, chaat, pakodi and then delicious kulfi.. My mouth is still watering.. Typical Delhi food.. Trip to dilli Haat is never complete without having a glass of fruit beer. This is not a real beer but apple flavoured drink. Since the color of the drink is of beer, hence the name.

Spent the whole day there. Next I went to Saket, again a place I like to visit. Bought another bag from there. Seems like I was on a spree to buy bags that day. Had some corn, ice-cream. Bought pastry, bread, a few knick-knacks for the house.. I was quite happy by the end of the day. After a long time, I had a weekend where I could indulge in spending on myself without having stares from my Mother, though she was with me. By the time I reached home, I was dead tired. Had a burger and went to sleep peacefully..

Monday, February 25, 2008

One Moment

is enough to make you fall in love
can shatter your life into pieces
of deep thought
of a painful tear
to make you realise your worth
to live the life
of losing someone close
of spending with your beloved
of kiss
of hug
of everlasting memory
of a silly thought
to shout at the top of your voice
to give vent to your anger
to calm down
to sleep into peaceful sleep
to take away all your worries
of careless mistake
to make you dead

Waiting for a moment!!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Tere Bin - Besides You..

This is a lovely song sung by Rabbi Shergill. It is a difficult to understand song, since it is in Punjabi. Am putting down the translation to understand it better. If you get to listen to it, do it.. The song touches your heart. Its magical.

tere bin / besides you
sanu sohnia / my love
koi hor nahio labhna / i shan't find another

jo dave / who'll give
ruh nu sakun / peace to my soul
chukke jo nakhra mera / and indulge me

ve main sare ghumm ke vekhia / i have gone and seen it all
amrika , roos, malaysia / america, russia, malaysia
kittey vi koi fark si / there wasn't any difference

har kise di koi shart si / they all had some condition
koi mangda mera si sama / some asked for my time
koi hunda surat te fida / some were fascinated by face
koi mangda meri si vafa / some demanded my fidelity
na koi mangda merian bala / none wanted my curses

tere bin / besides you
hor na kise / no one else
mangni merian bala / wants my curses
tere bin / besides you
hor na kise / no one else
karni dhup vich chhan / shall provide shade in the sun

jiven rukia / (the) way you paused
si tun zara / slightly
nahion bhulna / i shan't forget
main sari umar / all my life
jiven akhia si akhan chura / you said, looking away
"rovenga sanu yad kar" / "you shall weep in my memory"
hasia si main hasa ajeeb / i laughed a strange laugh
(par) tu nahi si hasia / but you didn't
dil vich tera jo raaz si / The secret which you had in your heart
mainu tu kyon ni dasia / why didn't you tell me

tere bin / besides you
sanu eh raz / none shall tell this
kise hor nahion dasna / secret to me

tere bin / besides you
peerh da ilaaj / the cure for my pain
kis vaid kolon labhna / no druid has

milia si ajj mainu / i found today
tera ik patra / a note of yours
likhia si jis 'te / on which you had scribbled
tun shayr varey shah da / a various shah couplet
parh ke si osnu / upon reading which
hanjnu ik duliya / a teardrop fell
akhan 'ch band si / that was locked in the eye
seh raaz ajj khulia / was revealed today

ki tere bin / that other than you
eh mere hanjnu / these tears of mine
kise hor / won't be kissed by
nahio chumna / anyone
ki tere bin / without you
eh mere hanjhu / my tear drops
mitti vich rulnha / get trampled in the soil like a worthless thing

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Laziness-Winters-Work Pressure

I have been very-very lazy since the past few days. Thankfully, this laziness is limited till home only. It would have been a problem, had this laziness continued to the office as well.

The amount of work that I have in office, cant allow me to be lazy.. I have to be energetic all the time. Meetings, discussions, assessments, project reviews, escalations, quality check, audits, ISO certification... phew!!! All this requires me to put in extra hours, atleast for the time being. I have to spend atleast 12 hours to be able to look into everything. And even more hours to be able to complete the work.. So the choice is either to stay back or come early. Staying back after 9 pm in winters is simply not possible. So the only choice left is to come early.

Ok... Lazy that I have become, I simply cannot get out of the bed early in the morning. I put on the alarm. Every morning, when the alarm rings, I wonder whether I ever slept. I switch off the alarm and go back to sleep thinking that I will wake up in another 5 mins.. After 15 mins, I will wake up and say to myself: Just 5 mins more... Another 10 mins gone.. Again I will tell myself that I will wake up in 2 mins... This keeps on going till 8 am till the time my maid rings the bell.. I have to get up then, but its too late to get ready, catch the bus and reach office early.

I have never been like this. If I had to get up, I used to... Nobody ever had to tell me or wake me up.. But these days, laziness has crept over me and is making me drowsy, sleepy all the time.. Whenever I am at home, I simply dont do anything.. I would only want to sleep, sleep and more sleep. I guess its all because of the cold weather which is preventing me to be energetic and makes me want to be in the bed all the time. I dont want to be out of my warm bed. I want to be tucked under the warm duvet and sleep, eat and go back to sleep...

This laziness has to come to an end. I want to wake up early, go for morning walk, get ready and reach office early and finish the pending work. I am waiting for the winters to get over.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Defensive

Is it really difficult to accept our mistakes? Does it mean, we are letting ourselves down? Does it hurt our ego so much? Does it lower our self-esteem? What, if the mistakes are hampering the people around us?

Being the Project Lead of three teams is not that easy, especially when all the team members are young, fresh, straight out of college. They are energetic, ready to learn but one thing common that I noticed in all of them: Defensive. Not ready to accept their mistakes or rectify them. We all are human beings and none is perfect. But the point is that we accept the mistakes and rectify them, rather than trying to defend it or hide it or cover it. I have noticed this particular trait in quite a few people here.

You give them the feedback and they take it against them. It seems to hurt their ego that they are being corrected. We, managers, attend sessions on Building Manager's Effectiveness wherein we are taught, among other things: How to give feedback to associates. But here, it seems, even after applying it, associates are not ready for it. The mistakes hamper the work, quality, client satisfaction, our deliverables. But the youngsters are simply not ready for change. It seems they think: Whatever they do, is right. Try giving the feedback, and they will build stories around it, as to why it happened, which will be a very vague one... They will keep on arguing to the level, where you will think, I am talking to a fool... They are simply not ready to understand, improve. They take is against them personally. Last option left is to document these instances in the performance plan, to make them understand the seriousness of the issue. The whole attitude is: Its ok. How does it matter!!!

They are fearless, confident, immature, egoistic and ready to take the risks. I know all these qualities sound so contradicting to each other but yes, they are present in these youngsters. While some of them are good to have, I wonder what about the rest. Why cant the mistakes be accepted and worked upon? The question still persists!!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Knocking on Heaven's Door

I have been singing this song since morning. The day is coming to an end and still I am humming this song. Thought of putting it here. The song also states my current state of mind, emotions, feelings, sentiments....

yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah

Mama take this badge from me,
I can't use it any more,
It's getting dark, too dark to see,
Feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door.

Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.

Mama put my gun in the ground,
I can't shoot them any more,
That long black cloud is coming down,
Feels like I'm knocking on heaven's door.

Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door, ooh yeah
Knock, knock knocking on heaven's door.

yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah

- Avril Lavigne

Moment of Pride

A few days back India celebrated her 68th Republic Day. Along with the other celebrations, this is also the day when the defence officers get their due and they are rewarded with the Gallantry Awards which adorn their chest and everyone is proud to show them off. Its a moment of pride for everyone - the officer as well as his family.

This year I was in Dehra Dun on that day to attend my cousin's reception. While I was basking in the sun and waiting to go, my phone beeped. The sms that I read, simply made me jump from my seat. It was from my brother, who is serving in Indian Navy as a Lieutenant Commander. He was awarded Nau Sena Medal Gallantry. I read the message twice just to make sure that I am reading it correctly. Even though I was all dressed up in saree, I simply couldnt stop myself from running inside and announcing this good news.

My Mama(whose daughter's reception was being held), left everything and said that he wants to speak to my brother first. Everyone in the house queued up to congratulate him. It was a moment of pride for me. Even now when I talk to someone, who knows him well, I cant stop telling about the good news. One of my friends reaction was: I am so proud that I know him. The kind of reaction that I received from everyone was over-whelming for me. I am still waiting for the actual ceremony to be held. Am sure that day I wont be able to hold back my tears of joy.... :-))

We all are proud of you....

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Education and Attitude

Does a kind of degree have any impact on the attitude or the responsibility shown toward your work? Today while having a general conversation with a colleague of mine during lunch, it struck me. There was a general discussion around the performance of some people who are not ready to take the responsibility of the work, the attitude is very very casual and there are constant issues in their work. Like always she said that it depends on the qualification of the person.

If a person is not a B.E or a B.Tech by qualification, then the person will never have the attitude or responsibility towards work. She even went to the length of saying that they do a simple graduation in Arts, Science, Computers, Commerce and land up in software industry which are meant for 'Technically Qualified' people.

I could easily sense the complex that she has, since she has done Engineering. This was not first time, she had said. I responded to her by saying that qualification has got nothing to do with the attitude towards work. I am not a 'Technically Qualified' person as per the degree that I have, but that does not mean, I will not have the responsibility towards my work. I reminded her that I have done M.Com. To which she said that I have experience with me... Hello!!! When I started working seven years back, I had no experience and the qualification was the same. Still I have never had issues with the work.

I am a firm believer in the fact that the degree of education has got nothing to do with the responsibility or attitude towards work. A helper working in a car garage may not be well educated or may not hold two-three degrees but he knows his work and does it with full dedication. I believe that it all depends from person to person. But off late I see quite a few people who simply cant stop boasting or having the complex if they have to share the same job with people who have a different degree of education. It does makes me sad.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Hope

To start living again
To fall in love
To revive the dead soul
To enjoy the enjoyments
To look forward to meeting friends
To be happy
To be able to stand up
To be stronger
To have feelings again
To want someone
To be wanted by someone
To be loved
To make my heart love someone
To be his, forever
To have dreams in my eyes again
To sleep peacefully
To have a smile on my face
To have a sping in the stride
To have hopes again