Friday, November 16, 2007

Whether a girl should ever approach?

The other day while I was talking to my friend, he shared something about his life. I got into a serious discussion with him hearing all that. The gist of the story was whether a girl should ever approach a boy.

We had a good amount of discussion over this topic. His point of view was: The girl really likes the boy. She knows the boy also likes her, but has never told her explicitly, the girl should ask the boy. My point of view was, the boy may like her only as a friend but nothing else, then what will the girl do. Also normally the boys have a say: Did I ever tell you that I like you more than a friend?

Boys generally think that its their prerogative to ask the girl for any long term relationship, if any. In case the girl approaches the boy, boys rate their egos high and they may simply shrink into a shell and even withdraw themselves from the friendship with that girl. The girl is left to feel miserable about the whole affair. She is left to think what went wrong. Was it wrong on her part to approach the boy, only because she felt for him more than a friend.

The girl's self-respect is lowered and she is not able to face the boy anymore. My friend's perspective was the girl already knows if the boy loves her or not. My perspective is, that no matter how much the boy loves, he needs to express it. Agreed that the love is felt but it needs to be expressed verbally as well.

The girl will not want to land in an embarrassing situation. She may start thinking and dreaming whereas the boy does not have a clue about it. Infact it will be difficult for both of them in the end, if such a situation arises. Also, my point of view is, what is wrong in telling the other person that you love him/her? Why assume that the other person knows.

There is another aspect as to why the girl does not want to make the first move. It can be shyness as well. She may make him feel but she will not be vocal about it. She must be waiting that, let the boy make the first move and then she will openly express her feelings.

It was actually a never-ending discussion, but the friend did agree on some of the points and I also thought from his perspective.

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