Friday, November 16, 2007

One Desire(ek khwahish)

एक ख्वाहिश एक तम्मना
एक नज़र एक झलक की
एक महक एक स्पर्श की
एक आलिंगन एक साथ की
एक प्यार भरी मुस्कान की
एक महकती सुबह की
एक सुहानी शाम की
ढलते सूरज की रौशनी को
साथ महसूस करने की
इन्द्रधनुष के रंगो को
साथ देखने की
एक बारिश में साथ भीगने की
ओस सी लिपटी घास पर साथ चलने की
समुन्द्र की लहरों में
साथ खेलने की
बर्फ से ढके पहाड़ की
गरिमा निहारने की
एक ठंडी शाम गर्मियों की
एक गरम दोपहर सर्दियों की
एक आखरी ख्वाहिश एक आखरी तमन्ना
कुछ पल साथ गुज़ारने की

Whether a girl should ever approach?

The other day while I was talking to my friend, he shared something about his life. I got into a serious discussion with him hearing all that. The gist of the story was whether a girl should ever approach a boy.

We had a good amount of discussion over this topic. His point of view was: The girl really likes the boy. She knows the boy also likes her, but has never told her explicitly, the girl should ask the boy. My point of view was, the boy may like her only as a friend but nothing else, then what will the girl do. Also normally the boys have a say: Did I ever tell you that I like you more than a friend?

Boys generally think that its their prerogative to ask the girl for any long term relationship, if any. In case the girl approaches the boy, boys rate their egos high and they may simply shrink into a shell and even withdraw themselves from the friendship with that girl. The girl is left to feel miserable about the whole affair. She is left to think what went wrong. Was it wrong on her part to approach the boy, only because she felt for him more than a friend.

The girl's self-respect is lowered and she is not able to face the boy anymore. My friend's perspective was the girl already knows if the boy loves her or not. My perspective is, that no matter how much the boy loves, he needs to express it. Agreed that the love is felt but it needs to be expressed verbally as well.

The girl will not want to land in an embarrassing situation. She may start thinking and dreaming whereas the boy does not have a clue about it. Infact it will be difficult for both of them in the end, if such a situation arises. Also, my point of view is, what is wrong in telling the other person that you love him/her? Why assume that the other person knows.

There is another aspect as to why the girl does not want to make the first move. It can be shyness as well. She may make him feel but she will not be vocal about it. She must be waiting that, let the boy make the first move and then she will openly express her feelings.

It was actually a never-ending discussion, but the friend did agree on some of the points and I also thought from his perspective.

Monday, November 12, 2007


I know you will never come back then,
Why do I want you?
Why do I look for you?
Why do I pray for you?
Why do I wish good for you?
Why do I want to talk to you?
Why do I want to hold you?
Why do I read your messages?
Why do I wait for your call?
Why do I see your picture?
Why do I want to meet you?
Why do I hope that I may
bump into you someday?
Why do I dream about you?
Why do I miss you?
Why do I remember you?
Why do I cry for you?
Why do I love you, still?

Why.. Why.. Why!!!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Diwali ??

A few days back, we had gone to a shopping complex with the whole team for lunch. The complex was beautifully decorated with all the glitters, streamers, lights.. The whole place wore a very festive look. It was for the upcoming festival of Diwali. While we were gazing at the decoration, one of my team member asked surprisingly: Why is this complex decorated? As per him there was no Chinese New Year or some 'American' festival round the corner. I looked at him back, in surprise. Then reminded him, that all this is for Diwali.

His question left me thinking. All of us work for MNCs, where the interaction with onsite is so much, that we forget ourselves. We work according to their timings. We wish them on their festivals. We get holidays according to their feasibility. Are we becoming slaves of MNCs? Are we losing our own values and traditions? We look forward to Christmas and New Year, since during that time we can take long holidays. We will celebrate Halloween, Thanks Giving, 4 July but we forget our festivals of Eid, Holi, Diwali, Rakshabandhan. If we cant even remember our own festivals, specially the biggest festival of the year : Diwali, what is the point of earning so much.

American and British culture has become an 'IN' part of our culture. If we dont know about their holidays or festivals, we are considered backward. I want to know how many Americans and Brits know about 15 Aug or 26 Jan or Baisakhi or Lohri.

I hope that we, youngsters maintain our traditions and pass this on to the next generation otherwise the day will not be far, when we will only hear about Diwali and celebrate X'Mas. As for me, this Diwali holds not festive spirit. My tears refuse to stop and my heart does not want to celebrate, even though I like this festival so much.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


Today I was thinking about life in general.. I was actually doing a comparison of what can be good and worse from the present scenario. I was also trying to gauge the pros and cons of the situations.

Considering the fact that I am not married, I thought that the worse situation than this would have been - married to a person who does not care and then have marital problems with the husband and in-laws. The better situation is I am single.

Working all the time is better than sitting at home with no job in hand and feeling even more miserable since I would be dependent on everyone.

Having no kids is better than having kids if you cant spare time for them and you leave them in the hands of servants.

Staying with parents is better than staying alone even if it means that you may not get to do all that you want to.

Having no boyfriend is better than having one who makes false promises, makes you emotional and then leaves you to go through hell.

People may think that I am trying to defend myself for not having something which is everyone's need. But I am simply trying to take out the best out of worst. Like there is a saying in Hindi : 'Angoor Khatte Hain' which means since I didnt get something that I wanted, I can say that the particular thing is not good so I should not worry about it. I may be bringing a little bit of the phrase while I say the above but I think its needed to pacify myself. I dont have any other option available with me as of now. Am I trying to project a happy situation out of a sad one? I dont know!! I dont want to know!!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Broken, Shattered, Lifeless...

I have lost the final battle. Its all over. It will never be the same again. I have to accept this but I cannot. I dont want to believe that it is over. This seems to be a nightmare to me. I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. I cannot breathe. I cannot live. I have turned out to be a complete failure. Even the tiniest of hope that I had, has gone forever. There is nothing that can be done, to undo this. No amount of blessings, prayers, wishes can bring him back to me. The love of my life is lost and nothing can pull him back. I have lost my life completely. What can be more painful than to see your love being lost to someone else, on your birthday. Can destiny, God be more unkind than this!!!