Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Self-centered Daughters-in-law

Back from my wonderful trip to Mumbai. As always, I had a great time. Enjoyed a lot. Wonder why holidays get over so quickly. I have always experienced something new on every trip. This time I experienced the growing number of nuclear families inside joint families, very closely, in not a very good way.

The family consists of in-laws, sister-in-law, husband, wife and is quite a rich family... While the in-laws are loving but they have their own way of living, wife finds it difficult to adjust. The husband hardly works and is totally dependent on his father. The couple gets a monthly allowance which is a pocket money to spend wherever they want to e.g. lunches, dinners, movies, outings, shopping.... This does not includes any daily needs expense.. That is taken care of separately through the common house-hold expense...

While the couple gets a good quarter of a lakh every month, the wife feels that its less. She thinks that even though the in-laws have money, they dont want to share. She is not ready to make her husband understand the importance of being independent. The couple only knows how to spend unnecessarily. All they do is go out for lunches, dinners, bowling, polo games, shopping, meeting friends.. They have no responsibility of the house, rather they have chose not to shoulder any.. Even after all this, there are complaints about the in-laws being un-reasonable if they ever ask the wife to be at home, if someone is coming.

It all started by showing dis-respect to whatever the parents said. First, stop talking to them. If they say something, just nod or keep quiet.. Stop going out with them. Stop informing when the wife goes out. Do not wish them on their birthday or anniversary. Refuse to accept their gifts. On top of it, stop having meals with them. Rather sit in her own room, while the whole family is sitting at the dining table. The wife, if ever is at home, would remain locked in her room and never come out. She would bad-mouth her in-laws in front of maids, drivers, part-time help..

The sister-in-law is also not spared. She is taught all the wrong things. She is made to go against her own parents. I would also say that the sister-in-law is somewhat foolish to believe what her brother's wife says. The poor SIL is taught all the wrong things. But the story does not ends here. The DIL would go out and back-bite her own SIL.

The option is available to move out, but that will not be taken. The couple is financially dependent on the parents. The husband hardly works so its better to have fun at the cost of parents' money. The couple have made their own separate world inside the house. The parents have chose not to say anything, lest it would create fire-balls. They want to live peacefully as much as they can.

Seeing all this, made me really sad. I wonder, is this for what parents marry off their children!!

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