Tuesday, July 31, 2007


Here is a poem that I had read long time back while I was in school. Fits so perfectly to make me live again....

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!

by Rudyard Kipling

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Like most of the people around the world, I need to have a look at the newspaper as the first thing in the morning... While I go through it, reading whats going in and around the world, my Mom is watching TV... Yeah, early in the morning at around 7:30 a.m..... She watches daily horoscope without fail....

Most of the predictions that the astrologer makes never turns out to be true. He predicts the day sun-sign wise and also for those whose birthday falls on that day. To top it all, he even predicts the day number wise e.g. if your birth date is number 25 then your lucky number would be 2+5 = 7... Amazing... A guy out there knows everything about your day whereas you wonder about your day....

I personally dont believe in watching or reading horoscopes.. But the way everyone else seems to be interested in them, amuses me... They all know that 90% of what is told is not true and shall not come true.. Still they listen to it, as if the whole action would be decided on its basis... But one thought still crosses my mind. The astrologers who predict others' future, do they know about their future. I totally agree that there are stars, supernatural powers that guide and make our lives.. But to be totally dependent on them does not seem right to me....

Destiny does play a major part in our lives and I dont think it can be changed... If everyone knows about their future in advance, will this world not come to an end.. Dont you think that there will be excitement left in this world.. I have nothing against astrology but to be ruled by it, does not make sense to me....

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Being Lonely

Close to 30 and still alone and lonely.. Sounds a little scary and discomforting at times... Thats the truth of my life... All my friends, even those who are a year or two younger to me, have someone with them... There are some who have gone through the cycle of marriage twice... May be its the destiny... As a child I had not thought that I would be this lonely even after I grow up...

I may have many friends but there is a limit to it. After a certain point people move on... The friendship still remains but the priorities change... Its not just about friends but when I see my cousins who are younger to me by 7-8 years, I wonder... They all seem to go ahead and settle down while I am still waiting for someone.... I have not at all been choosy, still I am left alone.. I, myself, feel awkward in many situations and this is one of the reasons to avoid big gatherings... People have no business but to talk why am I not settled till now...

I have no answer to anyone's questions and that's because of the fact, I dont know the answer myself... I will be wrong if I say that I dont feel the pinch of being alone.. I also want to be with someone whom I can care for, who will love me.. Someone I will look forward to when I go home.. The very fact that I am still lonely, does gets on my nerves sometimes...

I remember my days while I was in college... My Mother was very keen that I should settle down soon after I complete my studies.. I can take up a job if I wanted to... But the twist of the destiny!!! I landed up with a very good job in hand, as soon as I finished my studies... Its been almost 7 years... Still she is struggling to settle me down... Seems like unreal to me sometimes... I had also never thought that I would be close to thirty and still lonely.....

More Than Words

This song fits my current state of heart....
Saying I love you is
Not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say but if you only knew
How easy
It would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do
To make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me 'cause
I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Now that I've tried to
Talk to you and make you understand
All that you have to do is
Close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words
Is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know
- Extreme

Monday, July 16, 2007

Without you...

We are not together,
Not sure whether we will be
Still I want to let you know
That you mean the same to me

I cant walk without you
I cant talk without you
I cant smile without you
I cant live without you

My love for you grows
The yearning grows day by day
The craving grows every moment

My heart knows no peace without you
My soul is restless without you
My days are dull without you
My nights are lonely without you

I dont know what rains are
when you are not here
I dont know what a song is
when you are not here
I dont know what happiness is
when you are not here

The smile eludes from my face
The heart is waiting for you
The soul is searching for you
Please come back,
for I cant live without you.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Respect for Time

As we grow more technical, the respect for time is losing. Everyday I see people who do not have time for anyone or do not have the respect for anyone's time. People seem to have excuses for not turning up on time.

Our organisation is generous enough to provide pick up and drop facility. There are a few employees who have to travel by bus and few travel by the cabs, depending on the team that you are aligned to. Both cabs and buses have a fixed time for reaching the respective points. While the bus does not wait for anyone to reach the pick up point, the employees do not have a choice but to reach there before time, else miss the bus and arrange a transport on their own... which is quite difficult in Gurgaon....

On the other hand, cabs wait for the employees outside their houses for as long as 20 minutes sometimes, although there are strict instructions to move the cab... The waiting habit has actually spoilt the employees to beyond means.. They think that the cab belongs to them and they can make it wait for as long as they want. It goes on from one employee to the other and eventually the cab reaches late to the office. Amongst all this, the actual sufferer is the employee who comes on time and has to wait in the scorching sun for dont know, how long... The story does not ends here.. Now when the employee asks the other people that why cant others be on time, they have an excuse. The 'punctual' employee need not wait for that long. He should not be on time. Also what difference does it make if he has to wait for sometime.

The other excuse is,they cant get up early and get ready by the pick up time. If others have so much of problem with their coming late, they can go ahead and move the cab.. They will come by bus... The drivers generally dont move the cab unless the employee comes, being generous enough to wait... All this treatment is generally taken by the employees as taken for granted... The respect for someone else' time is totally lost. And at the end, they have standard excuse: Its ok.. Chalta hai!!! This is not US...

I really dont know where the generation is headed to!!! Is punctuality no more important!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Colors - Likes & Disllikes

Being so particular about colors, often lands me in a confusing situation. Most of the times people are not able to understand the exact shade that I want.. Then I have to explain the color by linking it to something.. Sometimes it gets really difficult.. The reason behind all this is, not all the colors suit me.. Also I have color preferences and cant wear just about any color that comes my way....

So when I go shopping and tell the shopkeeper very frankly that please dont show me anything that has even traces of black or brown color, they have a surprise look on their face... No matter how beautiful, graceful, elegant the stuff may look, but if it has even traces of black or brown color, I'll reject it then and there itself... There are no two thoughts about it.. I have quite a strong dislike about black color stuff... The reason for such dislike is, I find black boring, dull, gloomy, lifeless, sad... That means any dull color is not my choice... I like colors that are bright, cheerful, lively, pleasant e.g. red, white, pink, yellow, blue, mauve, peach....

People who want to wear black, they can go ahead and wear it... But I dont want to be pressurized for wearing it.. This is the only reason that I dont have anything in black.. be it shoes, sandals, bag, purse, jeans, t-shirts, suits, sarees, shirts... There is nothing that has even traces of black... Its not surprising for me, when people look at me in disbelief that I dont like black color and I have nothing in it.. Its hard for them to believe.... I am being forced by friends to wear it but nothing changes my decision....

Those who like it, go ahead and buy it... Nothing attracts my attention that has black color in it.. Even when I buy stuff for my home, it will not have anything black... I dont consider it a bad omen nor do I have anything against those people who have this skin color, since that is God gifted.. There is no bias around it... Its just when it comes to buying stuff, I will not go for black... Call me mad or insane, but thats how I am....

On the contrary, anything that is in white shall catch my attention... I am not saying that I'll buy anything in white but yes, I'll look at it and then decide whether I want to go ahead for it or not... Same goes for colors like pink, red, blue, yellow, orange, rust, cream, mauve... Even the shades of these colors have to be bright and not dull otherwise they shall not be picked up by me... Quite fussy I am about the colors and I dont mind even a bit.... After all, its my choice.... Right!!!

Thursday, July 05, 2007


zindagi ne zindagi bhar gham diye
jitne bhi mausam diye, sab nam diye

(Life has given sorrows throughout the life.
Whatever seasons came, were all dull and gloomy)

Monday, July 02, 2007


Its been almost 12 years since I passed out of school. The other day while I spoke to a cousin of mine who is quite young to me, I was reminded of my good old days in school.. Somehow I remembered the school song as well.. My first day in school flashed in front of me... First day in the assembly and I didnt know the school song.. While everybody sang it, I remained silent and thinking that I should learn it that day itself.. Back home, the first thing that I did was to learn the song which I love to sing even now.

How fair is the far spreading vale of the Doon,
In clear sparkling sunshine or darkling monsoon,
But the spot we love best of the beauty spots there,
Is St. Joseph's the pride of the valley so fair.

She calls us to loyalty, honour, and truth,
To wear Joseph's lily bright blameless youth.
And e'en to old age may her lessons remain,
To live our lives bravely and die without stain.

Let our voices ring out o'er the Doon's verdant vale,
In a jubilant shout, as we tell the proud tale,
Of the name and the fame of the best school of all
Of our dear Alma mater, and answer her call.

So Academicians in work and in play,
You'll swiftly and happily pass each glad day,
Of the years bright and brief that will end all to soon,
In St. Joseph's the pearl of the vale of the Doon.

Composed by: Brother S.J. Darcy
Music by: J. L. D'Souza