Monday, May 28, 2007


Destiny: Hard to describe and accept but easy to preach about. Yesterday I read an article on Destiny and its affects. It was mentioned that its our karmas which mostly decide our destiny. So if its written in your destiny that you will meet with a major accident, you can revert the affect by doing some good karma... The accident that is bound to happen, will happen but it will be a minor one and the affect will not be the same what it was supposed to be...

My question is, in any case the person had to suffer the repercussions of it.... Looking at my fate, I always feel: why me?? And I dont find anything wrong in asking that question. I have not met with an accident but whatever has happened, I ask if there can be something worse than that... For me, this is the worse and it has taken away my mental peace, my smile, my way of looking at life, my yearn to live, my desires, my faith, my trust, my love for everything.....

If a person is losing out in every phase of life, what do you expect him to do?? Can a person just think that its all because of destiny.. I am not saying that nobody has done anything wrong in this world.. We all are humans and we do make mistakes.... We do realise them and make amendments to them.. At the same time, I also believe that everyone does some good deeds in his/her life... Does it mean that the effects of mistakes over-weigh the effects of good deeds in such a way, that ultimately you lose.... I fail to understand most of the times what game the destiny plays..

You dont get anything in life, unless you work towards it... But then you are also made to believe that do your karma but dont expect anything in return.... Hello!!! I am not God.. I am a human being.... If I leave something on destiny, I will never get it.. If I work towards it and still dont get it, then what do I do?? Is it the destiny or my karma???? Do I need to fight against my own karma or my destiny or myself???

Again I fail to understand what makes people get, what they want!!!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Being a woman...

Often I feel that being a woman is not so easy.... I have my own reasons to say this and not making a general statement about it... To begin with, when she gets married, its the girl who has to adjust more to keep the family happy and together.... She becomes a mother and then she has to adapt the changes brought about in her own system and life.. May be she has to sacrifice her career to bring up the children.

Now if she has a daughter and a son, it is automatically instilled in the daughter that she is the one who should be more adjusting. The daughter grows up doing all the adjustments throughout... Then comes her age to get married. So she is expected to adjust again with whatever first prospective groom comes on her way... The girl is good looking and has all the qualities, anyone would look for... The boy is a very average one and may not be the best one. But then she is expected to accept that... The boy has all the right to say that he wants a tall, fair, beautiful, educated girl, but the girl cannot put so many restrictions....

Consider a case where the girl is the bread-earner of the family... She goes early in the morning to the office.. Runs around the whole day listening to her colleagues, boss, team members... She is exhausted by the end of the day.. Half-dead is the word that I will like to use here... Reaches home late in the night and what does she find.. A whole lot of work pending for her.. She has to write the cheques, make phone calls, deposit the bills, do all the errands, take care that everything is perfect in the house, clean, cook, wash in case the maid doesnt turns up, write important letters.... At the end, if there is any time left and she wants to spend with herself, she is being criticized... If she goes out on one weekend with her friends, she is considered selfish, self-centered, careless... Every year she takes a break from work and takes the family out for a holiday to a new destination... One year she wants to go alone and there is a big hue and cry about it... People think that she doesnt care about her family and she wants to enjoy on her own.....

I wonder sometimes if all this was a boy, who was doing it, will he ever be questioned or criticized... Then why do we expect the woman to be a perfect human being and flawless... Based on my experiences and what I hear around me, many times I feel that its tough being a woman and act like a man in all the situations...

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Scary Me...

Today morning as I opened the door to pick up the newspaper(my eyes were still not fully open), I noticed something on the floor. Quickly I shut the door. My first thought was I had imagined. There is nothing.. Opened the door a little bit to check.. No... There is something and I didnt imagine... A tiny-winy lizard... God!!!! What do I do now??? My eyes were wide open now... They can never escape my eyes, no matter where they are and how small they are...

I shut the door again... One loud scream and Mom came running... Told her that there is a lizard at the door and I cant open it... She knows what my condition becomes when I see that creeping creature... Its not that she is not scared but I am even worse.... With much coaxing, she made me get the broom and she got a stick.. Didnt have the courage to open the door... Prayed a hundred times before I finally l managed to.... The moment the door opened, that tiny creature jumped out of the door and it was out of the sight..... Phew!!! I heaved a sigh of relief...

I dont know what is it about the reptiles that scares me to the death? Ever since I was a kid, I am scared of them... Either the lizard or I can stay in the same house... Come summers, I have tough time going out... There can a lizard in the corridor, staircase, behind anything and beneath everything.... All the doors and windows are shut... They are never left open, no matter how hot it is....

As a kid, I used to scream at the top of my voice... My brother knew about this weakness of mine.. As troublesome younger brothers are, he used to catch a lizard and bring it near me to scare me... I used to scream, shout, run around with Mom, Grandfather scolding me and my brother but to no vail..... My brother would not listen to me if I asked him to get the lizard out of the house.. I literally had to bribe him with a chocolate or doing his project to get that BIG task done...

One sight of lizard and I am half dead... My eyes will be fixed on it- to see where it moves, when will it go... I cannot concentrate on anything if there is a lizard in the house... I come back to normal only when the lizard is out of the house.. Summers are fine but without these creatures... I am still looking for a place where there are no lizards no matter, what season of the year is....

Monday, May 21, 2007

The heat is on

The world has only eight years of resources left as per a latest survey by a leading newspaper. Sounds shocking!!! It does... This is a bitter truth.. The global warming has started taking its toll on human life. The glaciers are receding. The water in the sea is rising. There are chances of flood and then draught..

We need to check on the carbon emissions that are fuelling global warming. The recent incidents of Mumbai floods and Tsunami are the examples that one can think of... The situation can be even worse than them. People living closer to the coastlines need to fear more. With the rising level of sea, we are losing land on a continuous basis.

The disaster scenario will be something like this: As the global temperature rises, glaciers will melt faster and receive less snowfall. Snowfall in the upper reaches of the glacier adds weight on the top and the pace of melt at its mouth creates a delicate balance, keeping the ice mass in place. When this balance is upset, the glacier either recedes or comes forward dramatically or simply bursts. Either way, its a calamity.

In the beginning, the water level in the rivers will rise and will cause floods. But after few years, the water will recede as the glaciers would have melted significantly by then and then several rivers will reduce to a mere trickle. This will have a direct impact on agriculture. In one way, fertile soil will be lost due to floods and then there will be no water for irrigation. A direct impact on our food security.

There are other impacts of global warming. Skin diseases, rising prices, shortage of resources, not to forget about the rising crime. There is no security of life left either for us or for our coming generation. Does a common man thinks about it????

Check out the following article for more details:

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

No Hope...

The state that I am in currently, is making me lose faith in life. I see no hope for myself... There seems to be complete darkness till the end of the road. As my previous post says, life is stagnant. I feel no enthusiasm to live, look forward to anything. Dont know how, but the undermentioned song has been on my mind... But at this time, even this song doesnt help me... I dont find anything inside me... Its a BIG black hole....

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Hero by Mariah Carey

Thursday, May 10, 2007

O God!!!

I am stagnant. Nothing is moving. There is BIG chance that nothing will move in the future as well. Its going to be like this. I have to accept the fact that my life will be like the way it is now. I cant change it and it will not change. Thats the destiny. I cant fight against my own destiny. I can try to move ahead. I have tried that but it does not work. After walking some miles, I am back to the same position where I was before. People have moved ahead. I am at the same place where I was. All around me people are moving and going ahead of me. I try to match their pace, but it does not work. I am left behind. They have gone much ahead of me. First I try to match the pace with one person.. Slowly that person moves ahead. I still try to match but by then he has gone far ahead. I try to match the pace with another person, but even that person overtakes me and is far ahead... Eventually I have realised that its me who is left behind.. Everyone else is moving and there is change happening in their lives. I do try to bring a change in my life, but its not accepted and I am left with the same old living... I have come to a conclusion that it is not meant to change. My efforts are futile. I should not waste any more time to change what the situation. I should stop expecting anything... As the saying goes: Blessed are those who dont expect anything, for they shall never be disappointed..

O God! Please give me the strength to accept the fact. You are the one who has written my destiny so You need to be with him so that I can pass through this gracefully. I need You....

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Humne Dekhi Hai...

A few days back, I heard this song after a long time.. Since then its been on my lips... Like always, Gulzar is at its best in this song. The lyrics are very haunting and they stay in your mind for a long time. Love is described in a very beautiful way. It does not expect anything. It does not want to be given a name. It just needs to be felt...

hum ne dekhi hai, un aakhon ki mehakti khushboo
haath se chhuke ise, rishto ka ilzaam na do
sirf ehsaas hai ye, ruh se mahsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rahne do koi naam na do

pyaar koi bol nahee, pyaar awaaz nahi
ek khamoshi hai sunti hain kaha karti hai
n ye bujhati hai, n rukti hai, n thhahari hain kahin
noor ki boond hai, sadiyon se bahaa karti hain
sirf ehsaas hain ye, ruh se mahsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rahne do koi naam na do

muskurahat see khilee rahtee hain aankhon mein kahin
aur palakon pe ujaale se jhuke rehte hain
hoth kuchh kahte nahee, kaapate hothhon pe magar
kitne khaamosh se afsaane ruke rehte hain
sirf ehsaas hain ye, ruh se mahsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rahne do koi naam na do

hum ne dekhi hai..........

OST: Khamoshi

Monday, May 07, 2007


Ask me to drive a car and I shall run away a mile from you.. Ask me to ride a Kinetic and I shall happily take you around the world. What is there with driving the car that scares me to death? I can easily ride a two-wheeler, but when it comes to driving a car, I have cold feet. Looking at people around me, I am sure I am only one of the few who is scared to drive. I was coaxed to learn driving last year so much that I had to join the driving school. A month long lessons happened... After that, I did drive for few days with a driver next to me... Now I am back to square one. Ask me to drive again and I shall be scared. I have this general feeling that if I drive I will definitely bang into someone. I dont understand the concept of changing the gears, half clutch, half break... When I try to apply breaks, the car never stops... It still moves... Driving a car is just not meant for me. I really wonder how do people drive the car... I know that once I learn driving, life would be so easy for me... I will not have to wait for anyone to take me around. I will be independent. I muster all the courage and sometimes try to take the steering in my hand.. Then, the terror strikes.... I leave it and sit next to the driver's seat and wait for someone to take me around...

I dont know whether I shall be able to overcome this fear ever..

Friday, May 04, 2007


Everytime I watch interviewees, I think about the situation they are under. I have also undergone a number of interviews and all the tension associated with it. No matter how well prepared the person is, there are butterflies in his stomach... Hands become cold with sweat, you sometimes forget everything, you are nervous, excited... A feeling of mixed emotions.. You wonder when to smile, when to be serious.. Will you be able to answer all the questions? Will you be able to convince them that you are the best candidate for this job. Hope that you get a good salary, good hike, appraisal, good opportunities.

One also tends to look at the people around who are already working with the organisation. You think that if you clear the interview, you shall also be sitting somewhere here and working. You think about the boss and the team that you shall work with. You wonder whether you shall be able to make friends here. You wonder whether the organisation will be able to fulfil what you want. You wonder whether you will be satisfied once you get a job here, whether you shall be able to deliver to the best of your ability.

There are a lot of things an interviewee goes through while he waits for his turn. The points that I mentioned here are mostly what I had thought when I sat and waited for my turn to be interviewed. Quite sure that there are other thoughts which erupt in the interviewee's mind at that time...

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Pre-Marital Sex

Well, this is quite a controversial topic... I am generally thinking about this since a long time. Its been in my head since I hear about this all the while around me. There are a lot a of reasons and logic associated with it. I will try not to give my opinion here.

When you know the person with whom, you are doing it, is the one you love the most. You have not decided about the future. But it is more of love than just being a physical act to you. You want to do it with that person who gives you the comfort in all the time. Also the person never forced you into it. The topic just came up... In the beginning you were reluctant, but eventually you accepted because you love the person so much that you dont think it would be wrong to do 'it'. On top of it, the person never makes you feel awkward about it. He is open to the fact whether you two get married or not. There is no emotional blackmail attached, no force. Its an open option. You two share the best of comfort level, undertstanding.

The logic is that you have the experience of it. What if you never get married in your life, then you'll be deprived of something which is everybody's need at some age. There is a time and age for everything. You dont want to end up being someone who never experienced something which is beautiful and gives pleasure.

My say would be: Those who want to do it.. go ahead and do it.. Experience it. But be careful... Those who dont want to do it, dont do it.. It does not make sense to do it out of compulsion or force.

Whether it is right or wrong, I dont know!