Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Marital Woes

Getting married has its own problems. Our group of friends who meet everyday during lunch has a mix of people: singles, married, engaged. So everyone has something to share about. While the singles cribb about not being married and not having someone to love, care or share; married have their own issues about in-laws, expectations, hubby; engaged people have their own issues about not knowing the person too well, butterflies in stomach and so on.....

The most prominent discussion is always by the people who are married. Few of them have just got married. And trust me, they are repenting. How the in-laws behave, hubby's expectations, complaints, desires are all too much for them to handle. Actually speaking, the relationship requires some time on both the sides to allow the other person to adjust to one another. The girl may have to compromise and adjust more but that also needs time. They all have stories to tell: how the in-laws expect them to behave in a typical Indian Bahu - not to go out alone, keep her head covered, dont wear sleeveless, no western outfits, eat only after everyone else has eaten in the house, change clothes into something 'striking' whenever go out.. blah... blah... blah....

Now the hubby has something else to say always - comparison between the food cooked by wife and the mother, how 'Mama' handles the house, she will cook no matter at what time she comes back home from work, she should not ask her hubby where his money is spent, she should give all her salary to him, she should learn how to cope between the office and the house workload.

Having heard this, makes me ponder whether its worth getting married. It is quite possible that all this is an extreme situation.. This may not happen with every other person but it can happen with anyone. It actually scares me to death. Is getting married better or better is not to get married?

3 comments:

W said...

Is it all worth it? A study from Cornell the conclusion was that marriage has a beneficial effect on both men and women but much more so for men. The results have to be read along a continuum but the increased social stutus of "couples" does seem to make it worth it, at least in a sociological sense.

Soulmate said...

People should marry only if they really want it and want to get into this institution. It should be for personal reasons rather than sociological resons. Thats what I believe in.

Achilles said...

dear Soulmate ( ... i wish )

well,
...reading You, i must conclude that You must be a woman ...

anyway, for men ...
well, i speak ...
" eh! all ye men lend me your ears ... for i speak for You ... "
..N..
" ... by all means marry. If you get a good wife, You'll be happy. ... n If you get a bad one, You'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man."

( Socrates said this ... n i admire him for his thought ) (LoL)

... n personally, ... even i donot wish to be a philosopher ... however ... who knows ... n let it be if it has to be ... for i would be a lot more wiser ... atleast.

... n before i sign off ... i would surely wish to include that ...
" hey guys ... before You plan to build Your (own) family ... first have the ability to build Your own house n to move into that, too ... "
... no more 'saas bahu' episodes.

n more importantly,

'Be a Man my Son (if You are One)'
... n respect the lady You marry ... the would be mother of Your children ... respect her Freedom ... n her Dignity ... for she is the only 'One' in the whole world n in Your Life too.
n that is the way she should be

... feel Inspired, ... always ...

...Lakhwant.

C/o http://www.BraveHearts.info



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