Friday, February 23, 2007

Marriage vs. Love

Is love necessary to get married? Is it difficult to love a person after marriage? Well, every person has a different perspective about it. While some say that love is necessary to get into the institution of marriage, other are of the opinion that love can blossom after marriage also... The situation arises in the case of arranged marriage. Two people do not know each other. They have met just a couple of times or may be never before. Can love develop after marriage... Will that be a forced liking or it will be from within. My perception is that it depends on what mindset do you have. If someone has decided that love can never happen after marriage then it will not happen. Marriage comprises of understanding, sharing, caring, accepting, supporting, co-operating, giving. When we realise the other person is ready to accept us as we are. He is ready to shower us with all his love, we automatically fall in love with that person. He becomes our strength. He gives us the support all the time. He loves us unconditionally, will we not be ready to love him too..

I have a friend who firmly believes that she cannot marry someone whom she doesnt loves... She also has a friend who loves her unconditionally and is ready to marry her the day she says 'Yes'... Sometimes I think of that boy why loves her when he knows very well that she does not. They are very good friends and share the utmost comfort level... Yet she says that she cannot marry him because she does not loves him. She also does not have any other person in her life whom she loves. So the option left is either to marry her friend or someone of her parents' choice.... She is ready to marry someone of her parents' choice provided she likes the person... Its not that she does not like her friend.. She does, but she is not ready to accept him as her husband.. Again a mindset.... With the time clicking away, the decision becomes all the more difficult... Marriage is not something we should hasten into.. But we need to have an open mind if we really want to settle down with a person..

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Country roads...

What is it with the song, Country Roads by John Denver that everytime I hear it, I want to sing it aloud.... May be it reminds me of my hometown.. Maybe it reminds me of my wonderful days spent there... Maybe its because of my love for guitar... Maybe it because of the singer's intoxicating voice..... So here it is... Radio played the song a couple of days back.

Almost heaven West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze

Country roads take me home
To the place I belong
West Virginia mountain mama
Take me home country roads

All my memories gather round her
Miner's lady stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine teardrops in my eyes

Country roads...

I hear her voice in the mornin' hour she calls me
Radio reminds me of my home far away
And drivin' down that road I get a feelin' that I should have been home
Yesterday yesterday

Country roads...


I often wonder how do people handle criticism. Well, criticisms are good to an extent when it means to improve the person or bring about a good change in the person. But when the criticism is meant to pull the person down or to make him feel miserable, then it is difficult to handle.

I am in the same situation. I have handled criticism right from the beginning in a good spirit. Over the period of time, I have realised that some people are out there only to criticise. They never notice or dont want to notice the good points of the person. They only know how to criticise and pull people down. Without having the full knowledge about a situation or a person, they jump to some conclusion, start giving their useless advices, form a perception and criticise to any extent they can go to....

The criticism is to such an extent that they even manage to influence other people around him. It is as if it has been decided that the person is good for nothing. He is only worth for crticism. People who criticise others do not want to look at their own flaws. They think that they are the perfect human beings on this earth. Such an act definitely does not make them a good human being, leave alone being a perfect human. Why cant they realise that since we are not perfect, thats why we are humans. To err is human.

Friday, February 16, 2007


Finally I have found a house and I heaved a sigh of relief. After so many days of hunting, I have managed to find a house in the same locality and in the same society... All the insecurities, inhibitions, fears have come to an end. Now I should be able to shift by next weekend if everything goes well. The landlord is still to come down to Gurgaon to sign the lease. The present tenants should move out by this weekend. The house is in a quite good condition. Rather I should say that its in a very good condition, considering the fact that the present tenants are staying there for the last 4 years. Not a single scratch anywhere and the house is spotlessly clean.. No cobwebs, no dirt, nothing broken, leaking, cracked... Just the way I maintain a house.

I have spent sleepless nights due to the tension of not having a house. All the while I was in office, I used to think about finding a house. It was quite difficult for me to concentrate anywhere else. The number of calls I have made to the property dealers are countless. My phone bill is going to shoot up like anything like this month, but its worth it. Atleast I found the house that I want. The good news came today on Shivratri. Thanks to Lord Shiva!

Monday, February 12, 2007


I always wonder what does the word : Love means.. Does it mean that you have to stay with the person forever. Does it mean that you do whatever the other person likes. Does it mean changing yourself according to the other person. Does it mean that you accept the other person with his faults or would you like to change them. Will you love the other person only 'If' he or she behaves the way you want to. Will you still love that person incase you are not able to live with him/her forever. Will you still love that person even if he or she does not loves you. Will you still love the person, incase after marriage you find that there are many things in between you two that none of you are ready to change/accept. Does love ever lessens with the period of time.

Well, there are too many questions coming up in my mind. Every year as Valentine's day approaches, I think about them. My perception of love is, it never dies. People may move on, but somewhere down in their heart a small piece of love does remains for the other person. Love means that there are no conditions attached to it. Love means that you accept the person as he is. Love means that you both are ready to change/sacrifice whenever is needed. Marriage is a step ahead of love. So even if it that doesnt happen, love doesnt die. Love never dies. It keeps on growing if it is actually love. Love means being the strength of the other person and not weakness. Love does not makes you weak. It makes you stronger. It makes you confident.Love means sharing, caring, co-operating, adjusting unconditionally.

Friday, February 09, 2007


People can be such manipulative at times that it gets on your nerves. You feel like shaking them... You want to understand why do they behave like this. One moment they will be your best friend, giving you advices, comforting you, understanding you. They will act as your most trustworthy mate.... The moment you are out of sight, they start bitching about you. They manipulate whatever you said and put forward in a different way. They will add their inputs and subtract your inputs from it. The situation will be presented in such a way that you will have no choice but to believe it. They play a smart game. They will tell you few things which are true and few, which are not.. At the end of the day, you will not be able to figure out what is right and what is wrong.

They will leave no stones unturned to create misunderstandings, rift, breaking the relationships. It seems as if the only work that they have in this world is to create problems in others' as well their own lives.

At the end of the day, sometimes I find it difficult to decipher who is right and who is wrong. It has sometimes created unnecessary misunderstanding as well.. I dont want to be anyway near to these kind of people but sometimes we dont have a choice... There are some relationships which are just unavoidable even though you want them to be.
Such a misery!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Exactly!!! Thats what my situation is right now. The lease of the current place where I stay has expired. Landlord played a game and he plans to sell off the house now. When I asked him a couple of months back, he was ready to extend the lease... Now suddenly he wants to sell off the house... The truth is that he doesnt want to sell but rent to someone else who can pay him higher rent... He could have spoken to me if he wants to increase the rent...

The brokers on the other hand are giving problem too... We approach them and they lie that no house is available even though we can make out that the houses are vacant.. Since we dont know who the owner is, cannot contact them... There is another turn to all this.. If we contact the landlord directly, the brokers get angry why we have crossed their paths.... Its like neither we are supposed to approach the landlord directly nor the brokers will help us... Its scary to be in a situation like this... Day in and out am searching for a house and we all are panicky about the approaching deadline...

I just hope that I am able to find a house soon... Its scary to be homeless.....