Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Marriage vs Job

Here comes the big question. Whether a girl should work after marriage or not. Everytime I hear this question, my brain starts thinking... I have different thoughts everytime... I have a different perspective everytime.. I have different reasons everytime.. There are people all over who keep giving their advices much to my irritation.

There are so many thoughts erupting in my mind all the time regarding this. I have a perception which others fail to understand and I have no issues with it. Currently I am working.. My Mother is with me and she is the one who primarily takes care of the house. My contribution is very little.. It is limited to weekend shopping, paying the bills and any other urgent stuff which requires me to pitch in... Otherwise I hardly do anything. When my Mother goes out of town, the whole house is on me and I find it really difficult to manage. First I thought that it may be due to the fact that I am not used to it. Slowly I realised that its not my cup of tea. I am just not made to manage both the things well, at the same time. Either my job or the house suffers. I dont have that stamina/energy to look after them equally. I eventually fall sick.

I have reached to a conclusion that I dont want to work afterwards(as of now). I want to assess the situation afterwards. If I feel I am able to work, at that point of time, I will otherwise not. I dont want to run into a situation where neither am I doing a justice to my job nor to my house. I am very much aware without any proper help, I cant manage the two simultaneously in a good way... And I am quite aware that no matter how open-minded the in-laws are, at the end of the day they expect the daughter-in-law to do the home-work... Also I would not like that my hubby comes back home in the evening and he finds an empty house.. I would like to be at home when he comes back after a tiring day at work. I may sound like an orthodox village girl, but thats how I am.. I am tired of working for the last 6 years. I have been through a lot at work, at home, in my personal life.. I want to give my life and myself a break. I dont want to work after marriage atleast for sometime. Would like to devote my full attention to my house, hubby, family atleast for sometime and I dont find anything wrong with it. There is no rule that if I am working now, I have to work after marriage as well. The decision should be left on me, not forced upon me.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Unlucky 13

Everytime there is something related to number 13, people tend to shrug away from it. And if the day is a Friday then all the more superstitions... Everyone has an opinion that 13 is a unlucky number and anything associated with it will prove to be unlucky... Movies are not released on 13, anything auspicious is not scheduled for 13, so much that I have seen avoiding the work related to number 13. Just today while a associate was assisting someone with test planning, she said that she will not handle the test case 13. The reason was its an unlucky number..

What I want to understand is, what will she do with her own test plan, test case 13... What if someone's birthday falls on 13. What if we have to travel for our new job on 13. What if the date of joining of a new job is on 13. Will we still consider them as unlucky or lucky since those days bring a change in our lives and we hope for good change....

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Blocked

So as the security tightens around the country, borders, cities, roads, it has been tightened in the office network as well... No, no, don't get me wrong. I am not talking about the physical barriers. Its about the internet security. Most of the sites have been blocked much to my frustration. First the messengers were blocked. That's ok.. We are here to work and not chat.. Then a proxy site called Meebo was banned because some people were still using that site to chat... Fine with it... As the popularity of Orkut grew, people started using it and one could see that people were spending most of their time making friends, writing scraps, sending messages, finding friends.... The site was blocked... Smart as software engineers are, they found a proxy site to open orkut... Though it was done carefully so that no manager sees it, but still it was used quite widely, not extensively..... Our IS team is even more smarter..... They have blocked that proxy site as well... No problems with that....

Today morning when I tried to open the Flickr site, to my astonishment found that even this site has been blocked. One can sign in to the site, but cannot click on their pictures or upload any pictures... Just the home page opens... I guess the day is not far when the whole internet access would be restricted... Except for checking mails, one cannot do anything now... This is just not fair... A purely photograph site like Flickr where many people like me just want to post their pictures and get assessed is banned, does not make sense to me... Not sure if anyone can misuse that site as well where I have seen the best pictures from the best people... :-( Now I need to find another way to post my pictures on flickr.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Money Matters

I have seen a number of times people changing with the inflow of money. In the beginning they are humble, docile, down to earth, warm, approachable... As the inflow of money grows in their life, the same attitude changes... They become arrogant, rude, unapproachable, cold, insensitive and show lots of attitude... They think they are the best and they rule this world. They think that whatever they do is right and look down on not-so-rich people. They have money to flaunt everywhere and they show off... They may have the best of what the world has to offer in terms of materialistic things, but they don't have the basic human nature of being polite, humble, sympathy, respect... If this is what money does to a person, I am happy that I don't have it.

I have personally seen people changing with the money growth in their life... I really fail to understand why does this happens. My living standard as by far risen since the time I have started working. But I am sure that there is no change in my attitude... I am still the same old person that I was 6 years back. And I am assured of this since I meet people with same outlook as I used to, before.... I may not have the best of the world, but I am happy with the fact that I have not changed as a person.. I have the same respect, love, affection, warmth for all those who matter to me... The only change is that I don't take attitude from anyone now. They may be the king of their place, but not to me.... For me, they are plain human beings who are also living in the world.. That's it!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Happy

I am generally happy today... I am in a good morning ever since I got up in the morning. There was no electricity.. Its freezing cold outside.... I am down with cold, cough... But still, I am in a good mood. Saw my friend early in the morning.. She is my school friend and one of my best friend...

While waiting for the cab, saw this sweet little girl, Khushi.. Her smiling, innocent face instantly makes me happy. She and I bond with each other quite well... Have never seen her speaking to strangers, but she speaks to me.. Could be because of the fact that I love kids and they gel with me very easily....

Cab came on time.. Some good songs were playing on the FM today... Listened to Bryan Adams' Back To You after a very long time... He has always been one of my favorite artist... Cant get enough of him... Till now its been a good day at office too.. Work that was supposed to get over yesterday, about which I was quite tensed, has got over...

In all a good start of the day.. So I am happy.....:-)

Friday, January 05, 2007

Agony Aunt

Have you ever been a agony aunt? Well, I have always been one of those. Anyone has any problem, he/she comes running to me. Probably it is because of the reason that I lend them a hearing ear rather than telling my opinion.. They just want to speak to someone at that point of time and I guess I am good at listening. Its not that I dont give my suggestion or opinion. I do, but only where I think it is necesaary and it will be taken in good spirit. I have been a good listener to quite a lot of people - friends, relatives, acquaintances, team members, colleagues...

I feel good about the fact that I have so many people who confide in me with full confidence. They are well aware that if I know something, it will remain with me. I know how to keep others' secrets from the rest of the world. They may be telling other people(which I am not aware of), but once it has been told me, it will not go out of me. This could also be one of the reasons that people come and share their feelings, views, problems, grievances, opinions or even if it is just a simple talk.....

Well, the only problem I have is that I dont have any such person!!!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Another year dawns.

One more year has passed by.. Time flies so quickly.. Just a few months back I was struggling to find a new house and that was also a new year... Again am in the same situation... Just thinking what all went good and bad in the past year... I cant think of many good things but there is quite a long list of bad things.

So as the tradition goes, I shall put down the good ones first.
- I managed to find the house which is good enough.
- My closest friend and I started talking to each other again, after resolving the differences.
- Found a few of my old friends whom I had lost touch with.
- Started this blog as well as my photoblog.
- Visited my hometown Dehra Dun after a long gap of 4-1/2 years.
- Holiday in Maldives, Jaipur.

Here comes a list of the bad ones.
- I need to find another house as my landlord plans to sell off this house.
- I fell ill and was down with Chicken Pox for three weeks.
- The scars refuse to go and it makes me look even worse... :-(
- I lost my project and it was given to someone else.
- I have almost lost all the hopes of having the person in my life, who means the most to me.
- I received rejection from everyone.
- I have lost a few friends. They have not contacted me ever since they met me.
- The unnecessary expenditure that I had to do, dishearteningly.
- All my hopes for a good life are gone.
- I have lost faith in God.
- I lost almost all those who hold a value to me.
- Above all, I have lost myself. I have lost all the hopes, all the interests, all the faith, all the desires.

Happy New Year....