Monday, May 29, 2006

Feeling hot hot hot....

Its summer time again!!! and mind it, its really hot... Infact its unbearably hot. Never knew that Delhi has become so bad in the last few years... I guess Pune was much better. Atleast the mornings and evenings used to be always plesant, no matter how hot it is during the day.. But Delhi is bad..

The morning start with a breeze that is hot and full of dust. I try to go out for walk but come back since the sun is too hot to handle. Poor guard at the gate of the society keeps on adjusting the chair so as get that little shade under the tree which keeps on fading as the sun rises high. The rickshaw wallah, vegetable/fruit vendor walking, all sweat covered to sell their services. Am sure the only thing on thier mind at that monet will be a glass of cold water and some shady place to relax. The poor ice-creamwallah hoping that atleast one person will come out in this scorching heat to buy his ice-cream which he himself cannot have. The cobbler sitting under the tree waiting for some customer to get his shoe repaired. He doesnt even have enough space to sit, leave aside to stretch. The last but the most important one is the dhobi. At 43 degrees, he is ironing those clothes crisp and smart. He is completely drenched in sweat and wants to rest but cannot.

The humidity level is so high that it seems we take bath with sweat and not with water. Fans and coolers have become ineffective. It does not matter whether the fan is running or not, whether windows are open or shut, whether we take bath 3-4 times a day.. The moment we are out of the kitchen, seems like we had come out of sweat shower.. Sweat dripping, rather flowing on the face, body. Hair is always damp due to sweat. Body is sticky, smelly. All the day I am having nimbu panni, jaljeera, aam panha to kill this heat.....

It seems like ACs have become a necessity rather than a luxury. I dont have a AC at home and I really appreciate my Mother to brave through that scorching heat during the day. I am atleast better off for some part of the day when I am sitting in an air-conditioned office. Missing the weather of Pune... On top of it, there is power cut for longer everyday... Every passing day, I am praying that rains come soon(though I dont like rainy season)...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Adoption

This is one word thats in my mind since a long time. Somehow I was not able to make up my mind. Now I the feeling has become quite strong. I want to adopt a child, regardless of the sex. It does not matter whether its a boy or a girl. If the child is a girl, it will be better. I got a mixed reaction from people whom I shared my thought with. While some people thought that its a brilliant idea, others were against it. People are also of the opinion that if I tell this to the person whom I will marry(if at all), he will not appreciate the idea. Well, I think then that person is not worth it. I want to adopt a child since a long time.

I am aware that laws in India are quite stringent about adoption and there is a lot of problem for a single woman who wants to adopt. People can be so biased. At one point of time, a person does all the social work and wants to involve others. But when we actually want to do something good for the benefit of others, we are not allowed it. Am sure if my Mom comes to know about my thought, she will be shocked. She might even end up saying that I can do all this only after my marriage since my husband will be the one to decide. Whereas I dont need a man to support this decision of mine.

I am a grown up lady and I know how to lead life and take care of kids. Have been doing so since a long time. All my cousins who are almost 10-12 years younger to me, used to be with me since they were born. I am being a little selfish as well. On one hand, a child will have a better future, at the same time I will also have someone to look forward to for leading my future life.

I dont know whether I will be able to make this but I will leave no stones unturned. I just pray that this wish comes true...
Amen!!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Dear Diary....

There is something about diaries. Some people write to forget, some write to remember, some write it out of habit while others write it out of need. Whatever may be the case, diary is a place where one can pen down the thoughts whatever come across one's mind!!! I am sure people will be confused as to why am I writing about diaries on a BLOG.... Well.. Well.. Diary is something that has initiated the blog(I feel so).. Till a few years back, we just had diaries for jotting down our thoughts.

One question that comes to my mind is: Are we really honest with our diaries? Sometimes diaries can contain the deepest of desires and the darkest of secrers. This quite a subjective question.While some may write each and everything that they want to, others may refrain out of fear that somebody might read it. Diary is one way of recording important events which we might forget later on. It also serves as a reference point, if we are searching for any particular date/activity/events. I still remember, my Nanaji used to write diary everyday and he did so till the last day of his life. Infact he had preserved all of his diaries.

Writing diaries can be very relaxing. I also feel that people who are reserved and dont talk much, writing is a good option. Also there are instances where we just want to take out our frustration, desires, thoughts without letting anyone know. It can record our good times, bad times, fun times, achievements, failures, dreams, just about everything. It also serves as a resolution to our problems. It happens many a times that we keep on brooding over the problems. Writing diary can help you reach to a solution. It has happened with me. When I think about the problem continously, I dont find a solution. But when I leave it aside for a while and write, the solution strikes me.

Thanks to the computer age, I have stopped writing diary but have started to blog!!!! I hope to continue with it as long as I can, otherwise back to my dear diary......

Friday, May 19, 2006

Unexpected Surprise!!!!

Now.. now.... This is called as a pleasant surprise(again). The world is such a small place. While having lunch in the cafeteria yesterday, I saw someone and I was stunned. The lady sitting next to my table was none other than my English Teacher. I looked at her twice, thrice just to make sure that what I am seeing is correct. Yes, she is... Just prior to this post, I had posted about my school days and today my English Teacher is sitting next to me. Could't hold my excitement. Walked up to her and introduced myself. She couldnt remember my face though, which was obvious since she taught me for just two years in school. She still looked the same as 11 years back. She used to be the smartest teacher around. Not only students but even male teachers used to admire her. I still remember the perfect way she used to drape her saree, the way she used to carry herself and the way she used to speak. There was something good about her. It was so nice to meet her and speak to her. I was curious to know how come she is in the same office as I am. She said that she is conducting training programs for our company. It was such a pleasure to meet her after such a long time.....

God!!! I want to go back to school again.........

Thursday, May 18, 2006

More than a decade....

Its been more than a decade since I am out of school, 11 years to be precise. But it seems just like yesterday. Just a few days back one of my cousin speaking about his anxiousness to know his results. My school days flashed in a spur of moment in front of me. How I wish I was in school again!!! The only thing that I had in my mind at that time was my studies.. Nothing else. It didnt matter to me how the other class fellow is performing, what does future has in store for me, when and how will I get married, what will I do in my life, which college will I go to, what industry will I get into, how much money will I earn!!! God, those were such blissful days.

I used to sit on the last bench in my class with another friend of mine. We were the only two girals sitting on the last bench. Rest of the girls used to sit in the front where the classroom started and we sat where the classroom ended. How boys used to envy our seat since it was the perfect place for them to escape, if needed. Infact other girls used to think that how can we manage alone on the last bench. The reality is that sitting on the last bench had its own advantages. We could see what all is going on in the class and who is playing what pranks on others. Also it brought I and my friend so close to each other that we are still good friends and remember our good old days. The endless talks I used to have with her during free periods or zero periods.. I still miss them...

Hindi period used to be fun period again. Around 90% of the class used to leave to attend Maths class in the other section. The period used to be just before the lunch break but the tiffins used to be already out.. Aah!!! the smell of those parathas and achaar...... It used to be yum!!! Even our teacher had a doubt that we girls eat tiffin during her period. When she caught us one day, we offered her as well. She just smiled and didnt say anything. Ofcourse I knew that she likes me since I used to score one of the highest marks in Hindi.

I still remember one of the incident distinctively. It happened in Class XII. A boy from our section and another section had a fight in the football ground. The boy from my section was suspended since he was quite notorious and the other one was not, probably because he was one of the toppers. The whole of our section did a revolt. We even named it Revolt of 1995. We refused to study. Our demand was either suspend the other boy or get the boy from our section back to school. At the same time the other section also revolted against the indiscipline in school. As far as I remember this happened for 2-3 days. Those were fun days. No studies. Our class was locked. Finally, after few warnings, we had to get back to study.

I wish I could get back to school again!!!! Those were the best days of my life.....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

All work and no play.....

Exactly!!! This is what my situation is currently. Its just work, work and more work. In a way its really good that I have loads of work which keeps me busy throughout the day. But, hello!! what about the weekend?? Am I supposed to work over the weekend as well... I dont think so. Even I also need time for myself. I want to think about myself, get that pedicure done that I am thinking of since a long time, go and meet my friend, clean my cupboard, iron my clothes, get a pair of footwear which is pending, buy some cards, call up my friends, write emails to my friends and moreover just catch up with my sleep. Things seem to be quite different right now. Am just overloaded with work. Just a few weeks back, I was moaning with No Work. I really dont know where all my time goes on a weekend. Its always something or other which someone else wants me to do and not what I want to do. If this is the way life is going to be, I will just land up being a machine with no emotions, sentiments, likings... I dont want to be like that.

Just waiting that this hectic period gets over so that I get sometime for myself......

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Arranged Marriages.....

Is it so difficult to decide that 'Yes, this is the person that I wanna marry!!' Well, I think it is. How can you just decide in a meeting or two that he is the perfect one for you, that he is the one you would like to spend rest of your life with. Many of us go through this situation and accept this so called perfect pairing decided by our parents. First the bio-data is exchanged and then the photographs. If both the families like them, they go ahead and match the janampatris... Dont want to take any chance if either of them turns to be a mangli or their gunas dont match upto a certain level. Then comes the process of meeting.

Poor girl... what all she has to go through for that. She needs to look at her best. dress up in saree, put make up, leave the hair open, look like a shy girl, speak less, just smile, get a tray of tea along with some snacks which are supposedly made by her, show her paintings, greet everyone with a namaste and a pallu over her head..... urrrgh!!!!!! Now the girl is being asked what all can she cook, what has she done, what is she doing now, whether she wants to work after marriage or not. Finally, the guy's family give their decision... This is too much... Why cant people just let the girl be her normal self ? Why does she have to look like a made up doll? Why cant they just let the girl and the guy talk normally without all this taam-jhaam? Why cant they leave them to decide themselves whether they can go ahead with the relationship ? Let them meet for few times and then reach to a conclusion.

I just hope that nothing of this sort happens with me.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Appraisal

Its that time of the year when we have to prove that we deserve that much awaited promotion, bonus, raise, rating, that we are the best performer, we exceeded the expectation. Phew!!! Sometimes its really difficult to prove all these. Moreover a person like me who does not boast around about the good work done, finds it more complex. Guess this happens with many people in many organisations. I dont even pen down the good work done. Whatever I have done till now, have learnt it on my own. There was no one to guide me, coach me, mentor me. I had my share of pitfalls, escalations but then came out of them alone. Not sure what will I say in my appraisal. The way things have been for the last 6 months, I am not expecting any good rating. Dont know what my PM has to say about me.

I also think that work is affected by our day to day lives as well many times. If we have problems at home, in our personal life, somewhere or ther other it does affects our work. At that back of our mind, we tend to think about the other problem and we are not able to deliver the best.

I always try to keep my personal life away from my professional life. But sometimes I am not able to do so. I am a human being and I am bound to get affected. I cant detach me from myself. So at the end of it, when I am tensed, my work suffers due to which my appraisal, which affects my rating and then the raise that I am expecting!!!!

A vicious circle (something about which I read in economics in school)........

Monday, May 08, 2006

Home in a Home


Just a few days back I noticed a small nest outside my balcony near the window. Was wondering whether its a old one and will it be used by any of the birds. After a couple of days I saw that a pigeon was sitting there. and Voila!! what did I find there.. Two small eggs being laid. My happiness knew no bounds. Somebody has found my house suitable enough to lay their eggs. They are such tiny eggs. Am waiting for the day when small pigeons will hatch out of them. Am just too glad......