Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Painful Flights

Flying can be so painful at times... For me its always painful.... First the delays which leads to endless waits at the airport and then the sickness in the plane.... Its too much for me.....

Had been to Mumbai on the weekend.. I was not ready for the trip but still had to go... As my luck would have it, the flight was delayed by two hours.. Came to know about it when I reached the airport... How irritated I was since I had come leaving my team lunch and work at office...

Sitting there I was watching people... Didnt even have any book with me to read :-((.... People from all walks of life were there... I could make out that there some who were travelling for the first time.. Their anxiety, happiness, nervousness, excitement were clearly visible... Sitting at the airport doing nothing is the most frustrating thing, specially if you are travelling half-heartedly...

Once you have checked-in, you cant even go out... On top of it, the airlines called me when I was already at the airport, informing that the fight is delayed.... The flight was supposed to take off at 4:15 p.m... It got delayed by 2 hours and then it was expected to take off at 6:00 p.m.... Finally, it took off at 7:00 p.m...... How badly my head was aching at that time... Sitting like a fool at the aiport, doing nothing... How I hate to fly....

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Lost

I'm lost ~ I've gone to find myself.
If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Realisation

I have realised

- that there is no one worth crying for in this world.
- that if I deserve something, it'll come automatically to me.
- that I cannot change my destiny, no matter how hard I try or pray.
- that good things don't come so easily.
- that there is a price to be paid for every mistake that we commit.
- that its hard to find true love.
- that it is very important to have my own importance.
- that I should not expect anything from anyone.
- that luck plays a very important part in our lives.
- that it is upto us to be happy or sad.
- that life is not very easy.
- that being lonely all the time is bad.
- that falling in love is the most beautiful thing.
- that separation is the most painful thing.
- that it is very important to have someone in our life who loves us truly.
- that I cannot ask for love, I can only give it.
- that I should not change myself for anyone.
- that I need to give others their space.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Hungry kya?

Right now, I am damn hungry... I dont have anything to eat with me. So I am writing. I can think of all the good things that are available to eat. Desserts, chaat, rolls, pizza, burger, spaghetti, ice-creams, cakes, food made by Mom.... Am just hungry.... Ready to eat anything....

With the winters setting in, I have started feeling more hungry... At this time of the day, I hardly ever ate anything... Now I have to eat something otherwise my head aches and I cant concentrate.... My appetite has also increased suddenly. I keep on eating and have to force myself to stop eating... People around me are happy to see me eating... They have their own perception: I need to gain weight, Its good to eat, I eat very less, I work for very long hours, I need nutrition...

All this does not make sense to me... I actually fear of weight gain. I dont like eating at odd hours. I dont want to upset my routine... I dont want to eat junk food. I hope I get back to my proper schedule of having meals at fixed times.

Having said all this, I am having an eclair while I write this post.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Widow Re-marriage

As the movie Baabul released on Friday, I could easily relate it to the incident that happened in my family. The movie deals with the re-marriage of a young woman who has lost her husband.

More than 40 years back(I was not even born at that time), my eldest uncle and aunt were driving home in US... Aunt was driving. Just then there was a head on collision. My uncle died on the spot. Thankfully, my aunt was saved though she did suffer some injuries. It was quite a big blow for the family especially for my Grandparents who lost their young son... My Grandmother could not take the shock and expired sometime later.

My Grandfather stood like a pillar and held the whole family together. He also took the decision of getting my aunt re-married. He had a very clear logic. She is young and has a whole life ahead. She needs someone to be with her all through her life. Also who is there to take care of her once he passes away.

All this had happened when widow re-marriages were not acceptable. But my Grandfather showed prudence and against all odds, my aunt was married off. I can proudly say today that this was his wisest decision. She is very happy, settled with her loving husband and two wonderful sons. She still says that its all because of my Grandfather that she has a life of her own and she is so happy. I hope and pray that there are more people like my Grandfather in this world, who understand the pain of an individual and are more logical, rather than following old customs and traditions laid down by the society.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Sharp Memory

Somebody's birthday or anniversary comes up and I shall be the first one to wish them. It surprises them to no end that how do I make sure to wish them? Is there a birthday book or a alarm or a diary which reminds me of the upcoming events. The truth is that I have none of these.

The alarm is my brain which stores all this information and hence I am able to wish everyone. Infact this has become such a regular feature that people actually wait for my wish either through call, sms or greeting cards. My whole family, friends, relatives, acquaintances wonder that how do I manage to remember their birthdays, anniversaries!!! Infact one of my friend even said once that I am in the wrong profession with a good memory like this. I should have been doing something related to History where I just need to memorize dates... History...No way!!! How much I used to hate it!!!!

I am happy with this sharp memory which helps me to remember the important days without any help of diaries... I feel happy to wish someone and see that same happy look on their face.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Truth

How very true is this:

kabhi kisi ko mukkamal jahan nahi milta
kisi ko zameen, kisi ko aasman nahi milta.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Lonely Birthday

Another year has passed. Am another year older. Am another year wiser(I think so). Am another year lonely. Am another year sad. Everyone wants to know what I did on my 29th birthday on 25 Nov. I have nothing to tell since I did nothing. I had a very quiet day with just my Mother at home. Didnt go out anywhere for a meal, fun, outing. Watched a movie - Umrao Jaan (starring Aishwarya Rai) and read a book. I dont find anything weird about it.. My birthdays are usually spent alone, quietly with hardly or no one around me. There shall be very few people who will call to wish me, if they remember. Its just another day for me. Sometimes I dont even remember that its my birthday till someone wishes me.

This day also there was nothing special. It had started with a tear when I was remembering what all I had lost and how it could have been avoided. It was almost 12 in the midnight when I got a sms and realised that the day has started. Dont even remember when I went to sleep thinking....

The only surprise that happened was when my school friend turned up in the evening with a big birthday cake for me. For a few moments, I lived and then it was all the same again. Nothing to look forward to... As the day had started, it ended in the same manner.. with a tear...

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Name Sake

As usual, was having weekly meeting with the team. Lots of issues were being discussed. A few new processes were implemented. Made a few changes and guidelines were provided. While were in the middle of the conversation, I addressed one person by someone else' name... Damn!!! Suddenly everyone was staring. I realised that it has not gone un-noticed. There is no one by that name over here. Quickly I apologise and we continue with the meeting.

I believe it happens many times when at the back of your mind, we are constantly thinking about someone. I guess that the same thought over-powers us sometimes and we speak out the name unknowingly and unintentionally. It does lands us in an embarrassing situation. Situations like this are not in our control. There is a thought process going on all the time in our mind and we do get affected by it. I myself dont know how and why I happen to take that name. I agree to the fact that the name is always on my mind. Its something I cant forget, and I am ok with it...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Winter has set in..

Morning is cold. There is a slight chill in the air. There is a nip in the air and can feel the cold air hitting my body and making me shiver. I shrink while I work, wash, clean. Want to be near the toaster for a long time. Water is chilly and it feels like thousands of needles are piercing me when I try to put my hand in it. Sun has become mild. Warm rays of sun feel so good when I am out unlike in the month of May or June. Leaves have become golden, yellow, brown. Hardly see any flowers around me. People are trying to cover themselves from the chill air by sweaters, jackets, pullovers, jumpers, shawls, coats...

All the half-sleeves and sleeveless clothes are packed and warm clothes are out in the sun. They all smell of the napthalene balls which I dont like. Few things that I do like about winters are oranges, peanuts, basking in the sun, taking long walks wearing jackets and feel that chill air on my nose, warm boots, warm duvets, spending the evening next to fire lit in the fire place( we had that in our house in Dehra Dun), shaking hands with someone whose hands are warm(mine are always cold), holding a cup of hot coffee(even though I'll not drink it), gajar ka halwa, sleeping till late in the morning since the sun has not yet risen. Not writing about the dislikes since I dont want to..

Good-bye sweaty, sticky, hot summers.

Monday, November 20, 2006

She walks in beauty...

Since morning this poem is in my mind, so thought of putting it here. This was one of my favourite poem when I was in school. A beautiful description of a beautiful lady.


SHE walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meets in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

- Lord Byron

Thinking

For the past few days I am stuck on one page of the book I am currently reading - Husbands by Adele Parks. Every time I open the book to read it, my eyes are on it but am not reading. I am just seeing the words, alphabets, sentences, paragraphs but am not reading it. My mind is wandering somewhere else.

All the time I am thinking about my past - recent one, old one and very old one. Am thinking what all I should have done, what all I should not have done, what all I should do. If I had done anything differently or different, would the situation have been better? May be, yes!!! It is also possible that I may have been in a better situation. I also realised there are many situations where possibly I couldn't have done much to improve them. Either they were not in my hands or they were destined. Pessimistic as I may sound but the truth is that I am realistic. Its easy to talk rather than do it.

I think I think too much.. But I am fine with it... I do it for myself and I am happy with it....

Friday, November 17, 2006

Happiness

Am just trying to figure out who is happy and what makes them happy? Is it when the person is with his beloved. Is it when the person has all the money to buy anything in the world. Is it when the person has the job that he always wanted to have. Is it when the person has his dream machine. Is it when the person doesnt have to worry what will happen in the future. Is it when the person is not answerable to anyone for his acts. Is it when the person has the most loving family. Is it when the person goes out, parties, has fun with his friends. There are many more probablilities like these.

What I have understood is that I need to be content from inside. If I am not content from inside, I can never be happy. My mind should be at peace. My heart should be at peace. My soul should be at peace. Its my state of mind. If I chose to be unhappy then I shall always remain unhappy, no matter what happens. Life is never a cake walk for anyone in this world, be it the President of US or a common man living on the streets. I need to find happiness in myself and around me. Why sulk for tomorrow when I can live today. This aptly reminds me of the the title track of the movie: Kal Ho Na Ho!!!

Computer Class Revisited

A couple of days back I got a call. The person introduced himself as Sanjeev. I was wondering who this Sanjeev is?(Till now I had known only one Sanjeev and that was my computer instructor 8 years back). I just asked casually whether he is Sanjeev Sir? and yes!!! It was him only... I was actually out of words for few moments. Had never thought that my instructor would call me and that also after so many years.

It was such a pleasure talking to him. I remember how he used to scold me the most since I was the youngest one in the batch and probably in the whole centre as well. All the students in the computer centre were either graduates or were on the verge of completing it. And there I was - just out of 12th. He gave me the toughest of programs to write, the longest of exercises to do, but I enjoyed that. All this made sure that I scored the highest marks in all the tests. There is something nice about him. Now to think of it, it was actually a crush. I always used to wait for his class to start. I also have this feeling that he was aware of it. Such a kid I was!! He had a very good method of teaching and his explanations were superb. It's all because of him that I am in this software industry. Had he not given me those complex programs to write and helped me hone my skills, I dont think I would have been here. I have outgrown the feelings that I had, but my respect for him still remains and shall always be.

The good part is that now we can be in touch. Thanks to the growing technology: emails are the easiest way and everyone uses them now. Thanks for calling, Sir!!!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Feedback

Sometimes I wonder whether feedbacks are really that important. Does it not mean that others wants us to live our lives, the way they want? If I am not performing/acting the others expect me to, does it make me any less than others. How is it affecting anyone's lives with what I do?? Am I not supposed to do what I want do?? Will others keep on telling me for the rest of my lives about my actions. How can others judge all the time whether what I do is right or wrong? Feedbacks are good till some point of time. But not always. The other person may say against you out of personal grudge and because he actually means it. Also it is not necessary that what others are saying is always right. Probably we need to provide them with the feedback as to what they say and what it means. Why should we make our lives miserable just because somebody doesnt think good about us. Its his/her problem if they are hell bount on just finding the faults.

Keep your USELESS feedback with yourself and let others live peacefully.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Sleepless Nights

For the past one week, I am trying to sleep but sleep also seems to elude me... I want to sleep but I cannot. My eyelids are heavy but the moment I try to sleep, I cannot. My mind is not at rest... It is constantly thinking.. It is trying to look for solutions. My eyes are closed but am not sleeping. I want to drift into deep and peaceful slumber but its almost impossible to do it. I want to rest. My mind needs to rest but there is nothing to put me to sleep at the moment.

The moment I close my eyes, I start to think. I want to change everything that has happened. The situation seems to have got into my head and it refuses to come out. Or I am not able to get it out of my head. I want to divert my attention but it doesnt happen. The only solution I thought to make myself at peace is to sleep. I forgot that sometimes nothing works according to your wish. My basic necessity of sleep is not fulfilled. Am I being harsh to myself or is it life?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Rejected and Dejected

Thats what my current state of mind is. I may sound like a total sad person but I cant help it. Thats what and how I am right now. Accepting a rejection at this point of time in life needs lot of endurance which I dont have. I am losing day by day and there seems to be no end to it. I have no interest left. I have nothing to look forward to. I have no one to yearn for. I am completely out of this life. Had it been for once, I would have accepted it and moved on. But it cannot happen everytime. Why does my destiny has to be against me everytime? The dejection has come only due to the rejection. It seems as if life has decided to reject me and pull me down when I try to come up.. I fall, I get up and start walking again thinking that atleast this time I will reach my destination. But, No!!! Life has decided to make me fall and everytime the fall is bigger than the previous one. First it gives me hope, and when I start believing it, it just takes away everything and am left alone.

I hate it!! I hate it!! I hate it!!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Lonely in a crowd

Sitting in a crowd and yet feeling lonely.. You know the people sitting around you, still you are alone... You know what they are talking about, still you are alone.... Well, thats what I feel off lately... My mind is wandering somewhere else whereas my body is here.. I dont feel a part of it even though I am present there. People try their best to include me in their conversation but still I feel left out. When they start walking, everyone has a partner and I am left alone, walking alone, at the end...

I have not shut my mind to anything... Its just that my brain is continuously looking for something... Maybe it is all because of my present state of mind.. Nothing interests me and I dont even feel like taking interest in anything. Just want to be alone and analyse where did I go wrong. What could I have done to avoid this situation. It just goes back to the same situation. I am not able to accept the fact and this has got into my head.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

All Over

So its all over... The inhibitions, the insecurities, the fears, the losing has all come to an end.. I have lost it!! I am not able to accept the fact.. Why does it have to happen with me everytime? What wrong have I done to suffer like this?? Am I wrong in expecting something out of a relationship?? After giving so much into it, the outcome is nothing.. No one else but I am to be blamed for it. There should be no expectations, no optimism, no looking forward... Just let the things move as they are.. Does it make any difference to anybody in the end. I am the lone sufferer and nobody can do anything about it. I have learnt not to get emotional about anyone. I am still not able to swallow the fact that its all over. Nothing more can happen now. Tears keep welling in my eyes and I find it difficult to hold them back. I really dont understand how do others get what they want. What is that EXTRA, they do that I dont do? Am I not worthy enough of having someone? Why does my destiny has to go against my wish all the time?

Friday, October 20, 2006

Diwali Lights.



The biggest festival of the year : Diwali is here.. Hope the lights of diyas and candles take away all the sorrows, pains and bring peace, harmony, love and affection in everyone's life.

Happy Diwali.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Butterflies in tummy

Someone is coming to meet you very soon. You haven't met him for a long time although you have been in touch through other means. You two share a special bond. You start making plans, what all you'll do, what all you'll tell him, how you'll spend your time... You actually have butterflies in your tummy.. Feeling excited all over...

This is exactly what my condition is right now... A very close friend of mine shall be coming to meet me soon and I am happy all over... Everytime we make a plan to meet, something or the other goes wrong with it... This time I shall make sure that everything goes well and we two are able to meet, spend quality time and talk all that has been pending since a long time... One can actually see the happiness on my face... :-)) A lot things going on in my mind and my state keeps in changing.. Sometimes nervous, sometimes happy, sometimes thoughtful, sometimes confident...

The song which appropriately fits the situation is:

aajkal paon zameen par nahi padte mere,
bolo dekha hai kabhi
tumne mujhe udte hue!!!

Keeping my fingers crossed!!!!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Job against Marriage

Has it ever happened that your own job has become a greatest hindrance in you getting married. Everyone is comparing your job status with the prospective bride/groom.... So if you earn more than the other, then the chances are the person will be rejected... There is always a comparison as how to much you are earning against the other person... If the other person is earning a little less, it does not mean that he/she should be rejected on that basis... Then there comes the position... If you are placed highly than the other person, again there is a problem.... If a person is a project lead or a project manager, does not necessarily means that he/she will not be able to accept the fact the their spouse is on a lower rank...

Why cant people think beyond this and just let the girl and boy decide themselves whether they want to go ahead with the marriage or not!!!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Profession Change

Right in the middle of a busy street in the evening, my mobile starts ringing. Could not make out who was calling as the number was unknown to me. With some difficulty I manage to answer the call. A young voice greets me smartly. First thought that comes to my mind: Not another credit card, bank loan, insurance call.. But no, it was not what I had thought. The person greets me the way it is done in armed forces. Then asks me to guess who is he?? I was in no mood to guess the name. Just told him straight that he should tell his name. He says that he is Sachin. He asked whether I am Flying Officer _____, posted in Delhi. Now this was amusing. The name is correct but I am not a Flying Officer(even though I wish to be)... Also I am in Delhi but not a Flying Officer.. Alas!!!

Not sure from where did he get my number. But for few moments he thought that I am a Flying Officer in Indian Air Force.. How I wish that was true in the real life.. The name and the location was correct except for the profession, which is one of my passion. Have always wanted to be a part of our esteemed forces through some way or the other. Now that I cant be literally a part of it, I need to find someone who is serving in defence and be his partner.. :-))

Anything for Indian Armed Forces....

Monday, October 09, 2006

Brangelina Mania.

Hollywood stars : Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in India to shoot for a movie. This has become an everyday news in every newspaper. Seems like the newspapers are running out of actual news and have shifted their focus on what the couple is doing, where are they going, how much time they spent in hotel, how much time they spent on food?? Paprazzi is going crazy just to take a shot of the couple.

Every newspaper, news channel, radio channel you pick up and there is just one news.. Even in one newspaper the same news will be printed atleast twice. What is this happening? Just because two hollywood stars are in India, doesnt mean that the whole nation has to go crazy after them. Seems like the journalist have forgotten the real journalism and all they want is write about people who dont make any difference...

Leave them alone and get back to real journalism.....

Friday, October 06, 2006

Men will always be men....

This is how men behave:

I love you
but I cant marry you.

I cant live without you
but I cant marry you.

I want to spend my life with you
but I cant marry you.

I can talk to you about anything and everything
but I cant marry you.

I have found in you the kind of person I was looking for
but I cant marry you.

The reason being they cant tell their parents that they have found their soulmates themselves. If the men dont have the guts to stand and tell the truth, then they dont even have the right to get into a relationship and make the girl emotional. They dont have any right to play with anyone's emotions, sentiments. They want to enjoy with the girl but CAN'T marry. They always have reasons, the biggest one being the parents. My question is: why do they get involved if they cant go ahead with the relationship. If they want to go by their parents choice, then why make anyone think about you. Why cant they ask their parents just once. Its quite possible that the parents will say.. I am not saying that go against the parents, but atleast speak to them. Also you should have the guts, courage to stand for what you think is right. Sometimes, we need to put our view point in such a way that the parents understand it in a correct way.

So all you men, if you ever think of being in a relationship, just dont do it for the heck of it.. Think of the commitment, time, emotions, sentiments involved.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

How important is importance!!!

Is it wrong to demand the importance that one deserves? Every individual borne deserves a degree of importance. He has a self-respect which soulhd be respected by others. I personally dont find any reason why an individual should be deprived of the importance /respect that he or she deserves. Then why do people have a problem in giving the importance. Just because the other person doesnt always act the way you want it to be, you cannot deprive him of that well deserving respect/importance. The person has always tried to make you happy and did whatever you wanted and the way you wanted. Once if he doesn something to make himself happy and not others, doesnt mean that he should not be given his importance or he should not be respected. This is what tends to happen when one starts acting/living according to others wishes. Our own desires/wishes take a back seat and we are considered to be selfish/self-centered if we do anything to please ourselves even once.

Such double standards can people have!!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Surprised Again..

Was waiting at the airport to take the flight to Maldives. From a distance I saw one guy whose face seemes familiar to me. But I just dismissed my thoughts saying that I may be wrong... May be he resembles someone I know... After sometime while I was standing in the queue for security check-in, the same guy comes and asks me whether I have done the baggage verification. I said 'Yes'.

He pointed at me with those I-know-you-look in his eyes.. I also had the same expression. Pat came out his name: Yogesh. He was my school friend Alpana's younger brother whom I had not seen for the last 15 years.. Best thing was that he also recognised me and remembered my name.

I had actually been remembering my friend for the last few days.. I thought of the ways to contact her but didnt find the right direction.. I left the school after class 8. Then we hardly ever met.. She changed her house. I didnt have her phone number or email id... So actually speaking there was no way of contacting her again. Meeting her brother on the airport actually gave me direction to get in touch with her.. Took her number from him and made a call as well to her.. Also got to know about a lot of other classmates of mine whom I had completely lost...

Well, life is full of wierd and pleasant surprises.. You never know sometimes who comes as a blessing and your wish is fulfilled.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Snapshots of Maldives

Flag of Maldives





Our Water Bungalow






View from the Plane.




Hulhule Runway



Hullumale Beach




Maafushivaru T-Club



Beach at Maafushivaru


Maldivian Dreams

Had been on a holiday to a paradise which is commonly known as Maldives... A place which one must visit if you want a real holiday or want to see another world... Its a world away from the world... The sea is absolutely clean, transparent... One can actually see the sea life, corals with naked eye... Nature is at its best here... Its a 100% Muslim country and very safe.. People are nice, warm, affectionate, polite.... The affair starts the moment you land there... The runway is built on the sea. Its an amazing feeling to land on a runway with sea on both the sides.. The view from the plane is just awesome...

I stayed at a resort for two days named Maafushivaru T-Club. Went to that resort by sea-plane and then by boat which called Dhoni in Maldives. Its a resort where only Italians stay... But I got a chance to stay there, coutesy my brother whose friend is working there.. Staying in a resort like this was something I had never imagined... You are away from everyone.. Dunno whats happening in the world.. Just enjoy the beauty of the place.. Go for water sports, snorkelling, diving, swimming... The only thing that I did was eat, sleep and relax.... Tried snorkelling but I realised there that I have forgotten how to swim... :-(( But there are always options available.. So took a life jacket and went.... Had never seen sea life before... Its a altogether different experience which I may not be able to describe in words.. Its a feeling which one needs to feel when you see those beautiful fish, corals.... The best thing about that resort was there was no TV in any of the rooms... Its just because that the management wants the tourists to enjoy the beauty of the place rather than confined to the rooms watching the idiot box.... The chef is an excellent one who knows how to make mouth watering Italian food...

Rest of the days were spent in Hullumale which is a part of Maldives... Everyday I went to Male which is the capital of Maldives.. Its a 20 min ride by ferry and very comfortable... Ofcourse the view is amazing.... Male is a small city which is spread out in an area of not more than 5 Kms... One shall prefer to walk rather than take a taxi to roam around... The two main shopping streets are Majeedhee Magu and Chandheenee Magu. Magu means Road in Dhivehi, which is local language of Maldives. Traffic is very smooth... People dont blow horns on your face if you walk around or cross the road.. Infact nobody uses horns there... They let others go by whether he is on a vehicle or on foot..... You get all the latest stuff that you want... Saw some real swanky cars, bikes... Infact even the taxis are luxurious cars... Very well maintained... Taxi fare is fixed - 15 Rufiya whatever the distance you want to travel....

People are crazy about Hindi films.. they all are big fans of Shahrukh Khan, Amitabh Bachchan, Aamir Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Preity Zinta and others.. Name the latest movie and they would be aware of it... Infact Maldivian music is totally INSPIRED by Bollywood music... The music is the same minus the lyrics.... Weather is very nice... It is sunny but not at all humid... Nice cool breezy weather which allows to walk even during the afternoon....

One thing that caught my attention the moment I landed there was the Maldives' Flag... Its a huge red and green flag with a white moon on it hoisted near the Presidential jetty.. Very beautiful and eye catching colors.... Got a pic also clicked next to it.....

Whole week was just spent in eating, sleeping and shopping... Bought a lot of sovenirs from there... In all it was a very nice experience to be there... A world away from this world.... A paradise on this earth.... Its aptly called: Maldives- The sunny side of life.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Irritating Boys

Have you ever come across a person who sticks to you like a chewing gum and then never comes off, no matter how hard you try.... First the person becomes your friend, then he wants to know everything about you, wants you to be available for him whenever he wants, wants you to talk to him whenever he says, wants you to answer his each and every question... Agree that you know him, but does that mean you dont have any privacy or personal life? Are you not entitled to any freedom or space? Why is it necessary to answer him and tell him about each and everything! Cant he just leave you at peace? You have made everything clear to him that you have a busy life and he should not expect much from you but still he does.

Friendship does not mean that you are answerable for each and every act of yours. It also means that you give that required space and respect the other's need for privacy but I guess some people dont understand this....

Friday, September 08, 2006

Travel DTC

Today for the first time I realised how horrifying it can be to travel by DTC bus, if you dont know its functionality. First time I travelled alone by DTC. Stood for more than 30 mins to catch a bus which is said to have a frequency of 10 minutes. A bus comes which is loaded and tilted due to the weight of the number on it... I thought that it will not stop but how wrong I was... It stopped and to my amazement, people even managed to get on to it- pushing, struggling. I didnt even try for it... I allowed that bus to pass on... Another bus comes... It is again loaded... Still some people run after it and manage to get on to it... I realised that in this way, I will just be stranded there and will never get on to any bus....

I decided to board the next bus.... Thankfully, the next bus was not so crowded.... Still I had to run, push, struggle to board it... Somehow I get in... Now here comes another struggle to purchase the ticket... Again you have to push to reach the bus conductor... Everyone wants to be the first one.. The reason being in case any senior conductor boards the bus in between and asks for the ticket and if you dont have it, a fine of Rs. 100 and 15 days imprisonment..... So you cant stand peacefully in a queue to wait for your turn.... You have to find your own way to get the ticket if you dont want to be caught..... Amongst all this, the crowd is the saddest part... Men take advantage of such situations and they try to push you, press you, rub against you much to your irritation, anger, frustration... There you are, trying to find a place to keep your feet on the ground and protect yourself from the sweat, smell and those dirty gestures by MEN.

So think twice before you travel by DTC otherwise be smart!!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Confused or Embarrassed!!

A guy stops his car in front of you. He asks you whether you are going to XYZ company. You look at him suspiciously and are perplexed. Who is this who knows about your work place?? And why is he asking you all this?? You dont even know this guy or recognize him. Probably he understands your dilemma and says that he belongs to so and so team and even confirms your team.

This is what happened with me just a couple of days back. While I was waiting for the cab in a bad mood, since it was late, a car stops in front of me. The guy rolled down the window and asked me if can drop me to the office? Perplexed, I stared at him. Hundred questions in my mind: Who is he? Why is he asking me? How does he know the place of my work? What are his intentions? Probably he guessed my uneasiness. He confirmed about his team and his PM(whom I knew). Still, to be on the safer side, I said that I am not going to Centre Court office but to Unitech Office (we have our office at two different locations). He confirmed that he is also going to Unitech. Ok.. So I decided to go with him.

I asked him how does he know me?? He said that he had seen me many times during the meetings in office and also in the society where we were staying. Rather he has seen me almost everyday when I cross his block on my way back to home. Ahem!! So this guy knows me whereas I dont even remember seeing him even once. Hesitantly, I asked him his name. I apologized for not being able to recognize him. I actually didnt know where to look. This guy knows me, recognizes me, offers me a lift and I dont even remember seeing him ever. He tells me about his family, whereabouts. It was actually quite nice of him. After reaching office, I was wondering that why am I so naive?? Why dont I notice people, not that I am noticeable but still!!! Probably I need to keep my eyes open and look around.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Memories from the Pink City

Hawa Mahal
Streets Of Jaipur


Jootis

Bandhini

The in-famous Dairy Fun Ice-Cream
Bangles

The Affair Ends...

Back from the exciting trip to Jaipur, but the hangover is still there... Two days spent in Jaipur were total bliss... Vibrant colorful PINK shops, thou the name Pink City.. The shops are neatly lined, numbered and named. Nothing like other cities where you keep on searching for a shop number... The endless variety and colors of bandhini just drives you crazy... The range can be as low as Rs. 250 and it can go as high as you want it to be.... There is a particular lane : Manihariyon ka Rasta which is famous for bangles... Their speciality is lac bangles and what they call in hindi as : 'machine cut chooda'. I had never seen such beautiful bangles in my life before.. It seems as if Jaipur has been made keeping in mind: What Women Want!!!

Whole day just went by in shopping, shopping and more shopping.. I dont remember that we came out of any shop without buying anything.... Have never done so much of shopping in just one day - bangles, sarees, suits, jootis, show pieces, blue pottery, earrings, jaipuri razai, bed covers.. It was as if we had bought the whole of Jaipur... The icing on the cake was the bargaining that we did. Had a typical Rajasthani Meal of Dal, Baati, Choorma, gatte ki sabzi, missi roti, bajre ki roti, kair sangri..... I also tried their local Dairy Fun ice-cream and it was so-so..

Went to Chokhi Dhani in the evening which is a Rajasthani Resort and full of life in the evening.. There is a fair going on with lots of activities : boat ride, camel ride, bullock cart ride, mehendi, folk dance, magic show, puppet show, shooting, photography, astrology, potrait making, get your name written on rice.. The thing which cuts above the rest is the food and the way it is served here.. We sit on the floor and eat in pattal(leaf plates).. One cannot say 'NO' to anything. Even if you just taste it, it is served to you.. Diet Conscious people - just beware... If you dont put butter on your roti, they will put and mind you- they put lots of it.. Also if you say no to anything, they think that probably you didnt like the food.. Only disadvantage is that in the whole course of it, a lot of food is wasted because one cannot eat so much and eventually we end up wasting it (I dont like wasting Food)... The food is very tasty and one needs to be very hungry and have a big stomach to finish all of it...

One thing that really amazed me were the guides. We were going st snails pace in the traffic and suddenly this man appears who starts telling us about the city and the ways to the palaces and forts.. He actually starts running with the car and asks us to hire him as a guide.. Weird.. Had never seen this before anywhere... Didnt see many palaces or forts.. Just saw Hawa Mahal and City Palace which was being decorated for some NRI's wedding.

So, here is Jaipur with its beautiful colors, forts, palaces, mouth-watering food, warm hearted, hospitable and affectionate people. While writing this, I am already planning for my next visit to Jaipur.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Rajasthani Affair

Here I am writing this post and getting ready for my next travel. I have planned to go to Jaipur- The Pink City, this weekend. Finally!!! Even though it is quite a short visit still I am happy about it. The amount of planning that has gone in to make this trip happen has never been done before.. Am sure it sounds bizarre!! Its all because of the people I am travelling with. Well, that also happens and this is what is life.

Anyway, am very excited about the trip and look forward to it. Jaipur is a very colorful and vibrant city. Lots of ethnic stuff, bangles, jootis, palaces, forts, folk dances and on top of it, rajasthani food... Yummy!!! It tells the story of the great Rajput warriors... The history of Rajasthan is very glorious with so many wars being fought and the brave soldiers who were born here... Am going to Jaipur for the first time and it will be one different and exciting experience.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Last Wish!!

While speaking to my friend the other day, he just asked me that if starting from now I had just 24 hours left with me what all would I like to do? After a quick thinking, I said that the only thing that I want to do is to sort out all the differences with this very good and close friend of mine... He means a lot to me and I would not like to leave without clarifying the misunderstandings....

Then he asked, what else and I was silent... I had no other wish... Well, he was quite surprised since he had thought that I will have some good things to say atleast but none!!! I asked him the same question as to what would he like to do if he had just 24 hours of his life left!! The list was quite an interesting one..
-- go to some beach
-- visit Switzerland.(How interesting - visit a beach and swiss at the same time)
-- do lots of shopping - watches, clothes, electronic gadgets, perfumes, shoes
-- drink and party all night
-- and then end it up in a luxurious room of a 5-star hotel with a beautiful babe.

I must say I was quite amused by his wish.. He said that its really sad to know that I dont have any interesting last wish.. I believe that it also depends on what kind of situation are you in at that time. Also, I am quite sure that the wishes change as well with the due course of time. So at this point of time, I have just one wish and I would sincerely would not want it to be my last wish.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Have you found your soulmate?

How do you decide whether you have found your soulmate?? How do you decide that this is the person you want to spend your life with?? How do you decide that this is the perfect life partner for you?? How do you decide whether this is the person with whom you want to share yourself, your thoughts, your dreams, your aspirations, your insecurities, your inhibitions?? How do you decide whether this is the person with whom you dont have to think twice before speaking out anything?? How do you decide that this is the person with whom you want to walk every walk of life, that you want to hold on to him whenever you fall, whenever you need guidance, you need advice, you need support??? How do you decide that this is the person who will love you for what you are and is ready to accept you in every way, the one who does not want you to change for him and vice versa?? How do you decide that this is the person who loves you unconditionally?? How do you decide that this is the person who means the world and you can't live without??

Well, I am still looking for an answer to the above questions!!!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Being Independent

What does being independent mean to you... Is it the right to do anything and everything the way you want to or to live alone or never being questioned or take decisions on your own or when you start working or you have the right to go about anywhere without anyone's intervention....

Yesterday was our Independence Day and as we enter into the 60th year, I believe a lot of things have changed since then.... We are independent but in what way.. The British have left us but we are still stuck in other boundaries of caste, creed, racial discrimination and other factors... Since then there are wars, problems, tensions... Who would have thought that one day even traveling would become such a safety hazard... I believe we may have become independent of any other ruler but we are confined in a different prison now and it is quite sad.... For me this day reminds again of the sacrifice of the freedom fighters and not to forget our defence forces who are still protecting us from intruders......

Monday, August 14, 2006

Living or Surviving

The question is are you living or surviving... Probably it would be difficult to answer this considering what is the difference between the two??? Well, living would be that you know what you want out of this life,what are you looking for, your dreams, aspirations, goals, motivational factors.... Surviving would be you have no desires left and you dont look forward to anything in life.. Days just come and go by.... You dont aspire, desire for anything.... You are just existing in this world and not making any use of your existence.... Well, we get to live only once so we need to make the most of it....

The only obstacle that I could find to this is the kind of experiences we have had in our lives... When things dont seem to work anywhere in any direction, we start losing out... We stop wanting anything and we lose trust in this life and most importantly in ourselves... We had tried every method of picking up the left over threads and moving forward but somehow it doesnt work... It is as if life has decided to fail you, break you, pull you back in whatever you do..... We put our heart and soul in whatever we do, but what do we get in the end.. Just another blow from life which makes you realize that you are not worth of anything... Now if we lose interest in this life, we cannot be blamed for it...

Friday, August 11, 2006

Delhi Half Marathon

So the event has come up again... One can decide how far he/she wants to run: 21 km/7 km/4.3 km... The event is organized for a social cause and I am quite keen to take part in it... But I guess I will not be able to do so,considering the fact that now I wait to gasp breath after walking briskly for just 100 meters and God only knows what will happen if I run for such a long distance.... The sitting job of a software engineer makes our muscles so rigid that we find it difficult even to walk for half a kilometer....

I remembered my school days when I came to know about the event. We used to have marathon race in school as well and we used to run for about 5 kms or so... Those days even though I was not the winner but I used to participate every year and finish the race... Running all the way till Rajpur was fun... By the end of it, we were dead tired but it was worth it.... I guess the spirit is more important than the winning..

Here I am writing this post and wondering whether I will be able to participate in this half marathon or not!!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Lifting Mode

Stepped into the lift as usual yesterday... The electricity was playing hide and seek like it happens usually in Gurgaon.... Still I got into the lift without much thinking... So the moment the lift reached the ground floor, it got stuck.. Lights went off, fan stopped and the door jammed.... I tried to find the button for G, pressed it again and again but nothing happened... As luck would have it, I didnt have my mobile with me... Pitch dark and not a breath of air... I was sweating profusely... In all this I forgot that I can shout, as if my voice was choked... Pressed all the buttons and in the course of it, I pressed the alarm button as well... The moment I realize that the alarm had started blowing, I pressed it again and again and again and again!!!!

Thankfully, somebody heard that and he called the guard... The guard somehow opened the lift and I was out sweating and almost choked.... So now I have the experience of getting stuck in lift and not just heard about it..... Its scary, believe me.....

Happy Rakshabandhan

Today is Rakhi and like every other year, I am not tying rakhi on my brother's wrist. I still dont know the exact reason but what I have been told is that in my father's family this day is not celebrated... So I have grown up just wishing my brother this day... The biggest festival of brother/sister relationship is not celebrated in my house... But that does not lessen the love and comfort that I and my brother share....

I used to tie rakhis to my cousins which I have been doing since the day they were born... I miss the days spent when I was in Doon and my cousins used to come over.. They had their demands placed well before as to what would they like to eat and what kind of rakhi would they want.... And I used to be so happy fulfilling their small wish... My Mother used to make all good delicacies and I used to even put 'mehendi' a day before... It was a kind of celebration.. New clothes, mithai, kheer, holiday.... Now nothing of all this is done anymore in Gurgaon... The only thing that still remains is wearing new clothes and wishing my brother through phone.... No cousins here and no celebrations here..... Rakhis are sent by post which are sometimes acknowledged and most of the times not.....

Still I get the feeling of festivity on this day and be happy.....

Monday, August 07, 2006

Privacy Matters

How important is privacy to you?? I am sure that most of the people would say
that its one of the most important aspect of their lives... Everybody wants
his/her own privacy at some point of time..... And this is required at every step in day to day life e.g. while working, talking over the phone, meeting friends, writing diary, traveling, reading, sleeping, walking, watching TV... By privacy I certainly dont mean that nobody should be looking at you directly... What I mean by privacy that you should have the freedom to do things the way you want to without being interrupted and questioned....

I have a firm belief that we all have the right to this privacy.. Nobody should get offended by it if we want to do things on our own without anyone poking their nose into it..... After all its our life and we have the right to do things the way we want to without letting others know or being interfered by their opinions/questions... I have this post written just to let the world know that I respect and demand my privacy and nobody is allowed to take it away... It has got nothing to do with my status... I am an individual and I demand my privacy and I will have it!!!!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Ego Issues

So there are ego issues with the person with whom you work.. He always has something against you to say.. He is always criticizing you and pulling you down... He is always interfering with your work.. He always has problems with whatever work you do... He is always cutting you... He is always on the look out to get in tiff with you... On top of it, you always help him whenever there is a need..... Whats the best thing to avoid any conflicts!!! I suppose avoid him and do your work to the best of your ability as long as your manager is happy....

But for how long will you do this... There has to be an end to it.. This cannot go on forever and ever.... The day you say something to reply back, the person just stops talking to you... He thinks that you have a big mouth and you have no right to reply him back... Moreover the person is going to be a manager soon so he thinks he can say and do anything he wants to and no one will react to it... How very wrong he is....

All of the above has happened recently with me.. My colleague behaved and I gave just one reply.. Since then no more talking... Fine enough.. I tried to forget everything and be normal in our professional relationship but somehow he doesnt seem to be...

So now we are two poles apart and I am very happy atleast....... No more snapping from him.....

Monday, July 31, 2006

Do looks matter?

So many times I have seen people saying that they dont bother so much about the looks as long as the person is capable enough to handle the work or he/she is good at heart... But how wrong it is!!! It is a double faced society... Some of the experiences I have had are

At school:

Even though at school, looks should not matter while the grades are given or somebody is chosen for houses/clubs yet it happens there... A person may not be so good at studies, yet he/she is given grace marks or even favored during exams just because he/she is good looking.... Even while choosing the students for the various activities/clubs, good looking students are chosen and favoritism prevails... Even teachers form a opinion about the students on not how he/she performs but how he/she looks...

At home:

It is said that for parents all the children are alike whether they look good or not so good... but alas!!! Favoritism prevails here as well... so whether its food, clothes, studies, sports, extra curricular activities, introducing to others, the child who looks good get the attention... Child discrimination!!!

At interviews:

A very simple, plain but an intelligent man wearing specs with oiled hair enters who is not so good looking and is not so impressively dressed. Another man enters who is dashing, handsome, smart, mixes around and shakes hands with everyone and knows how to impress people with his charm... The interviewers have already decided who is chosen for the job... The only respite can be if it is a telephonic interview where the interviewers cannot see the face of the person and they are genuinely interested in keeping good performers and not good looking people....

At office:

A worker comes to office, does his work quietly and goes off.. He is not the one someone you will notice or who is good looking... He is a hard worker and never gives any reason to complaint about... His work is appreciated by all... He is a very average looking fellow whom you will not turn to look at twice or rather you will not even notice.. There is another worker who is suave, exudes charm, is attractive, persona dignified and knows how to speak in accent but is not such a good performer

Time comes for promotion.. The person who works silently is expecting a good raise and a better position but what happens.. The position goes to his colleague who is not as good as him... The reason being that the other person is better looking than him and knows how to attract people.....

In today's world, I have learnt whether you are a good person by heart or not, it is very very important to be a good person by looks... You must have that charm to attract people in order to be successful.... You must have that personality to convince others that you are the best.... And last but not the least, you must have the good looks if you want the person of opposite sex to love you and be crazy about you so much that he wants to marry you......

So much for the good looks!!!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Vijay Diwas


















Today 26 July is Vijay Diwas... 7 years back we captured the last hill from Pakistan in Kargil War.. But in the course we lost hundreds of our soldiers who gave their lives fighting for their Motherland. Memories of those days are still fresh in my mind.. Everyday in the newspaper there was news of soldiers being killed brutally along with India's next step towards victory... This day still brings tears to my eyes and while writing this my eyes have become moist again. May be I am not able to do the right justice to all those brave soldiers through this little post of mine. My tribute to all the young officers and soldiers who laid down their lives fighting for us and our country. Who can forget the sacrifice of Capt. Vikram Batra who was nick named as Shershah and his famous words: 'Yeh Dil Maange More', Capt. Anuj Nayyar, Capt. Sumit Roy, Lt. Saurabh Kalia, Lt. Vijayant Thapar and hundreds of other soldiers...

Capt. Vikram Batra was awarded Param Vir Chakra, India's highest medal for gallantry, posthumously. Lt. Saurabh Kalia and his patrol party were captured by the enemy and were brutally tortured for 22 days and then killed. Later on their bodies were handed over by the Pakistan Army. Lt. Vijayant Thapar wrote in his last letter that by the time his parents will receive the letter, he will be no more.. All the soldiers fought bravely on the top of those hills where even breathing properly is a problem... They spent days and nights without having food, water, marching towards victory and fighting bravely till we captured all our hills... They were young, energetic, effervescent, full of life, dreams in their eyes, ready to capture the world, just passed out of IMA.... It is sad that many people have forgotten the sacrifice made by them and their families. How I wish to be a part of our esteemed forces!!!

Visit this page to know each and everything about kargil.... http://www.bharat-rakshak.com/KARGIL/

Back to work



And I am back to work.... The trip to Doon was great.... I was too excited to be there and be a part of it for three days... It was a nostalgic feeling.... Being there after such a long time... I was trying to recognise the places where I have spent my childhood... So many things have changed... People have changed, places have changed, areas have developed, roads widened.... But one thing is still there.. The warmth, affection, belongingness..... Saw my house which is under construction, its a lovely place... Very similar to what I had dreamt of always... In this age of PVRs and multiplexes, I saw a movie in an old cinema hall, where the ticket costs just Rs. 50 and its not air-conditioned... Passed through my school.. I wanted to go in but didnt since I was running short of time... Met my relatives, friends, acquaintances... The weather was as usual very pleasant... It had rained and it was perfect to be out on the roads.... No water logged streets, fallen trees, traffic jams like Delhi... I may not be able to write everything about my trip... It was something to experience and I loved every bit of it....

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Going Home

Finally I am going to my hometown on the coming weekend after a long gap of 4-1/2 years.... Am so excited and at the same time, I am nervous. I have mixed feelings. I am a little nostalgic too.. Will be visiting my relatives, friends, city, school, college after a long time.. There are so many things that I want to do... I want to catch up with all my friends, meet all the relatives, go to all the places where I used to when I was living there, go and meet my teachers, visit my school(which I have heard has changed a lot). On top of it, I have heard that the city itself has changed so much that I will not be able to recognize it. It has grown area wise, population wise and it has developed. Who would have thought that one day Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Cafe Coffee Day, Barista, Lakme and a host of other brand names will be available in a small city like Dehra Dun... I am looking forward to my visit. May be I am too excited to express it in words. The decision was made all of a sudden and I am very happy about it. I will be back in those mountains, roads for three days..... :-))

Trying to control the butterflies in my tummy....

Friday, July 14, 2006

Dreams...

And this is what I dream of:

--- to settle down with the person who means the most.
--- to have a house of my own.
--- to drive and own a car.
--- to travel around the world.
--- to take one good photograph someday.
--- to have long, black, silky hair.
--- to have flawless skin.
--- to go on a cruise.
--- to have kids who are absolutely adorable and naughty.
--- to make my Mother happy atleast once.
--- to be a little more patient.
--- to be more confident when I am giving a presentation.
--- to go back to school once again.
--- to correct my mistakes that I have committed.
--- to re-live my 5 years in Pune and enjoy them.
--- to go out with friends.
--- to have the guts to say 'NO' when I don't agree with something.
--- to not let people walk over me and take me for granted.
--- to acquire a MBA degree.
--- to cook good food like my Mother.
--- to live alone for sometime.
--- to have someone to talk to whenever I need.
--- to be a part of the armed forces.
--- to tell the person who means a world to me.
--- to express myself more expressively.

I know I cant fulfill most of the above mentioned dreams but still!!!!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Travel Bug

So I am planning for a holiday after a long time. Every year this has been my favourite thing to do.. Plan for a holiday and then go to some new destination..... This is the reason I have not been to my hometown Dehra Dun for the last 4-1/2 years... All my leaves went in visiting a new station.... I have travelled to Goa, Bangalore, Kerala, Hyderabad, Malaysia, Singapore in the last 4 years..... I am quite happy about all my experiences.... Since childhood I have loved to travel... visiting a new destination was always a dream for me... Once I started earning, I thought to fulfil atleast this dream of mine.... Of course there were hassles, problems, hesitations, fear but now all that has vanished.. Now whenever I plan for a holiday, all I get in my head is what shall I do there?? how the place shall be? where all shall I visit?? where all shall I click the photographs?? What all to shop?? What kind of food shall I get to try??? What souvenir shall I get from there??
Here I am... Planning for my next visit... If it is abroad then it shall be London, otherwise it shall be Rajasthan in India.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Rain drops keep falling on my head


And it rained at last!!! After days and weeks of endless wait, it rained yesterday and since then it is drizzling continuously. The temperature has come down considerably and the humidity level as well... It was such a relief from the scorching heat that we were experiencing for the past so many weeks.... Delhi is worst in summers.... Days were restless and nights, sleepless... What a change now!!! The cool breeze is blowing... I want to be stand out in the balcony and enjoy the weather rather than sit at home.... Everything seems so clean, pure, clear.... The leafs are more green, the flowers more prettier, the water cold, the roads clean and washed out, the birds singing more happily.. Seems like someone has inserted life back into all these lives!!!! Everyone seems to enjoy the rains. Children playing in the puddles, animals getting wet, birds taking a shelter here and there while they try to dry themselves....

Along with rains, come few more good things... hot and crisp pakodas, a cup of hot cardamom tea, bhutta being roasted on the coal and then eaten with lots of nimbu and masala put on it... Also with the rains, out come my raincoat, umbrella, rain slippers.... have to put away my white clothes for sometime..... Few things that I dont like about the rains: water logged streets, cars splashing water on the pedestrians and two-wheelers, smell of dampness, swamp, walking on the road with mud all around, pot holes, mosquitoes that come with rains.....

Still I shall say that rains are more than welcome... Atleast its gives that much awaited relief from the heat and summers....

Monday, July 10, 2006

The FIFA world cup ends.....

Finally the world cup ended!!! Even though am not a fan of soccer but still tried to keep myself abreast of the latest happening in the soccer. I had betted on Brazil at the beginning of the tournament. But alas !! Brazil was out.. Then I thought France would win the world cup.. Sadness again!!! Another sad part was Zidane was given red card... This was his last world cup and not a good way to exit from the game... The match started off nicely with Zidane scoring a goal in the penalty shoot out barely after 6 minutes. Italy made the score to level when Materazzi shot a goal in the 17th minute. Finally it was Italy who won the world cup beating France 5-3 in the penalty shoot-out after a draw in Berlin....

Good part is that the soccer is over since I am not interested in it even a bit and wherever I went in the past one month, all I could find was people talking about soccer.... :))

Friday, July 07, 2006

Chocolate Day!!!



Since morning I am eating chocolate. As usual my drawer is full of chocolates. Whosoever comes from abroad, gets chocolates specially for me.... Eating chocolate is a sin for me, considering that fact that I have a sensitive skin which reacts to all these stuff. Still I am eating it and enjoying it. Its a bliss for me to indulge in this sin...

Talking of chocolate reminds me of one more thing. Just heard on Radio Mirchi that today is Chocolate Day as well.. This gives another reason to eat as much chocolates as I can. My previous manager was a British and he used to get bags full of chocolates for our BIG team... The mail that he used to sent to everybody clearly mentioned that please come have your share before I come... I used to take both handful of chocolates and even after that I used to be after him to give me more chocolates. I had actually become famous in my office for chocolates. So whenever anyone wanted chocolates, approached me... There was not a single day when my drawer was empty.. Thanks to all the people who got chocolates for me from abroad, now I have stopped eating Indian Chocolates. Dont like them anymore.

I have even developed a good taste for chocolates and can make out whether chocolate is actually good or not. So whatever chocolates I chose, always turn out to be the good ones... I remember when I came back from Singapore/Malaysia, I had a one big bag full of chocolates which I carried as cabin baggage fearing that chocolates might get spoilt if I check-in that bag... People were actually amused when they saw the bag.... So here I am indulging myself completely in the chocolates and their sins...... Thanks to all the people who get chocolates for me whenever they go abroad...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Living in a bubble

The moment I enter into a lift, all I do is press the button and look up to see the control panel... Even if I try to look around me, everyone else seems to be doing the same. Avoiding the eye contact as much as possible. We just wish that the person standing close does not notices us and that bothers away the small talk that we can have. We want to live with ourselves at that moment. All the day, we are interacting with people: team members, managers, helpdesk, IS, cab drivers, shop keeper, family, friends. So whenever we get a chance we want to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. We are so afraid that someone might intrigue our privacy or burst our bubble and force us to face upto the world outside.

Similar is the situation faced while we board a bus, a train or a flight, while we shop, while taking a walk, just about anywhere where there is a possibility of finding someone we know or we might bump into someone who wants to talk to us and pull us back into reality.

The reason that I could envisage behind this behaviour is our busy lives. All the time we are so engrossed with our daily routines, jobs, fulfilling other people's demands that we dont get time to think or spend with ourselves. Therefore, whenever we get a chance in public specially when we are surrounded by strangers we get into that bubble, hoping nobody should prick it. We just want to shut ourselves up from the rest of the world and enjoy our solitude. It gives a kind of mental satisfaction where we dont have to explain anything to anyone, no responses, no questions to be asked, not hear anything, not pay attention. We can just enjoy our thought(s) without any interruptions. God knows when will we get the time again to slip into our bubbles again!!!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Coming back home

The kind of job that we people are into, takes us to different places. Thanks to our onsite requirement, we get a chance to travel abroad. I have seen that it happens with most of us that once we go there, we tend to settle down there. We were supposed to be there for 6 months, then it gets extended for another 6 months, then another 6 months. Eventually we all land up being a citizen of that country. Even though we keep on telling ourselves, that one day we will go back to our country, but it never happens. Probably, the money, quality of life lures us to stay away from our country. We end up staying there forever and becoming a part of it, get dissolved somewhere in the other country which was a stranger to us sometime back.

The other day while watching Swades for the nth time, this thought struck me. Specially the song:
ye jo des hai tera
swades hai tera
tujhe hai pukara
ye woh bandhan hai jo kabhi toot nahi sakta.

I become emotional everytime I hear this song. When I went to South East Asia on a holiday, within 10 days I was home sick. I started missing my country, my people, my house, food, potholes, pollution, warmth, affection.. A friend of mine who was in Australia for the past 1-1/2 years told me that if she doesnt come back to India now, she will not be able to come back later as well... I am sure she said that with the experience she gained with her stay there.

I believe I cannot stay away from my India for too long as well... I love it too much.....

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Thinking Again

Was reading One Night @ the Call Centre and it made me think again. How very correctly the author has potrayed the lives of the people working in call centre in odd shifts. I can relate to that since I have also worked in shifts though not in a call centre. The book made me think again whether I am happy with what I am doing right now? Is this what I actually want to do? Am I working towards what I want to achieve? Am I getting the satisfaction, appreciation, recognition for my work? What have I thought of my life? Is this is the way I want to lead my life? What should I do to make things right that have gone wrong? Its very easy to say that we did mistakes and nothing can be done to rectify them. What measures I can take atleast to try and improve them.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

So Near Yet So Far....

Yesterday evening my phone beeped to tell me that I have received a sms. It was from my school friend who also happens to my closest friend till now.... I had not spoken to her, met her or sms' her for the past 2 months. I understand that she has her own family, kid, job to look after.. Then I also get busy with myself and my so called boring life. She and I have been friends for the last 16 years... We have literally grown up together.. Have been with each other in the happy moments, sad moments...

She and I used to sit on the last bench in the class purposely. We could have a look at the whole class. Everyone was envious of our seat specially the guys since they wanted to bunk the class and our seat was perfect for it, though we never bunked any class. After finishing our school, we used to go to college together.. God only knows how much time we have spent talking on our way to college.... Our college timings were from 8:00 a.m. and in winters specially in a place like Dehra Dun, it was a pain going to college so early. I used to reach her house by 7:15 a.m. and we used to walk down to the college. There used to be hardly anyone on the road at that time. She and I walked right in the middle of the road, talking and laughing. If someone looked at us, why are we walking in the middle, dirty looks were passed on!!! Reach college and bask in the sun since there was no space in the class to sit.. Spent couple of hours in the sun and the college time is over.. 10 a.m. and we are back on our walk towards home.... We shared everything with each other... There is some kind of bonding between us. Even now when we dont meet each other or talk so often, it is there.

She has always been there for me and I am always there for her. We can call each other even in the middle of the night. I still remember that she told me first about her good friend and then when she was about to get married. Times have changed since then but nothing has changed in our friendship and bonding.. We are still very close even though we may not be staying so close... I miss her and my good old days spent with her....

Friday, June 16, 2006

Plane Thinking

While walking back home yesterday night, I noticed a plane far away in the sky. All its lights blinking among the stars as though it wanted to show that it can also shine as bright as those stars... Was just wondering where that plane is headed to and who all are the passengers?? When will they reach their destination?? Why are they going??? Are they happy or sad or going out of compulsion??Are the passengers on a holiday trip or a business trip or an emergency trip or to meet a friend or breaking away from life or to meet relatives or headed towards home or to meet someone beloved???Do I know any one of them??? Will they reach safely considering the percentage of safety has decreased so much? I don't know why this sudden thought came to my mind and I wanted to put it down in writing.I think it happens with most of us that we see something and out of the blue, we start thinking about it. Even though I was in no way related to that aircraft and its journey, still I was thinking about it...May be the travel bug in me, made me think.... Wondered when will I get a chance to break free from this monotonous routine and get away for sometime alone....
Kept on looking at the plane for a long long time till the lights faded away in the dark sky.....

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Love Will Keep Us Alive.....

I woke up this morning with some song in my head : Love will keep us alive by Eagles... Can remember the music but cant recall the lyrics ...Its so irritating..... Couldnt find the CD as well.... SAD!!! So the first thing that I did when I got near the PC, was to find out the lyrics... Now I am releived....This is one song that I really like and somehow I can relate to this song... Beautiful Lyrics.. Amazing Music..

Dedicated to that special someone!!!!

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide

Lost and lonely
Now youve given me the will to survive
When were hungry...love will keep us alive

Dont you worry
Sometimes youve just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now Ive found you
Theres no more emptiness inside
When were hungry...love will keep us alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there's nothing I wouldnt do

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now youve given me the will to survive
When were hungry...love will keep us alive
When were hungry...love will keep us alive
When were hungry...love will keep us alive

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Changing Interests...

Today while I was talking to my friend, I realised that there are so many things which I used to do before I started working e.g. paint, make cards, embroider, put mehendi, cycle, walk, write letters, bake cakes. Now none of these I do.. Its been ages since I painted, embroidered, baked a cake. At one point of time, all these interests interested me but why dont I do them anymore. I am sure it happens with many people. With the passage of time, our priorities change, our hobbies change, out interests change. Most of the times we are forced to do so...

Now my job has taken a priority or other things which I am not able to do during the weekdays... I do all that over the weekend or whenever I get time free....

Monday, May 29, 2006

Feeling hot hot hot....

Its summer time again!!! and mind it, its really hot... Infact its unbearably hot. Never knew that Delhi has become so bad in the last few years... I guess Pune was much better. Atleast the mornings and evenings used to be always plesant, no matter how hot it is during the day.. But Delhi is bad..

The morning start with a breeze that is hot and full of dust. I try to go out for walk but come back since the sun is too hot to handle. Poor guard at the gate of the society keeps on adjusting the chair so as get that little shade under the tree which keeps on fading as the sun rises high. The rickshaw wallah, vegetable/fruit vendor walking, all sweat covered to sell their services. Am sure the only thing on thier mind at that monet will be a glass of cold water and some shady place to relax. The poor ice-creamwallah hoping that atleast one person will come out in this scorching heat to buy his ice-cream which he himself cannot have. The cobbler sitting under the tree waiting for some customer to get his shoe repaired. He doesnt even have enough space to sit, leave aside to stretch. The last but the most important one is the dhobi. At 43 degrees, he is ironing those clothes crisp and smart. He is completely drenched in sweat and wants to rest but cannot.

The humidity level is so high that it seems we take bath with sweat and not with water. Fans and coolers have become ineffective. It does not matter whether the fan is running or not, whether windows are open or shut, whether we take bath 3-4 times a day.. The moment we are out of the kitchen, seems like we had come out of sweat shower.. Sweat dripping, rather flowing on the face, body. Hair is always damp due to sweat. Body is sticky, smelly. All the day I am having nimbu panni, jaljeera, aam panha to kill this heat.....

It seems like ACs have become a necessity rather than a luxury. I dont have a AC at home and I really appreciate my Mother to brave through that scorching heat during the day. I am atleast better off for some part of the day when I am sitting in an air-conditioned office. Missing the weather of Pune... On top of it, there is power cut for longer everyday... Every passing day, I am praying that rains come soon(though I dont like rainy season)...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Adoption

This is one word thats in my mind since a long time. Somehow I was not able to make up my mind. Now I the feeling has become quite strong. I want to adopt a child, regardless of the sex. It does not matter whether its a boy or a girl. If the child is a girl, it will be better. I got a mixed reaction from people whom I shared my thought with. While some people thought that its a brilliant idea, others were against it. People are also of the opinion that if I tell this to the person whom I will marry(if at all), he will not appreciate the idea. Well, I think then that person is not worth it. I want to adopt a child since a long time.

I am aware that laws in India are quite stringent about adoption and there is a lot of problem for a single woman who wants to adopt. People can be so biased. At one point of time, a person does all the social work and wants to involve others. But when we actually want to do something good for the benefit of others, we are not allowed it. Am sure if my Mom comes to know about my thought, she will be shocked. She might even end up saying that I can do all this only after my marriage since my husband will be the one to decide. Whereas I dont need a man to support this decision of mine.

I am a grown up lady and I know how to lead life and take care of kids. Have been doing so since a long time. All my cousins who are almost 10-12 years younger to me, used to be with me since they were born. I am being a little selfish as well. On one hand, a child will have a better future, at the same time I will also have someone to look forward to for leading my future life.

I dont know whether I will be able to make this but I will leave no stones unturned. I just pray that this wish comes true...
Amen!!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Dear Diary....

There is something about diaries. Some people write to forget, some write to remember, some write it out of habit while others write it out of need. Whatever may be the case, diary is a place where one can pen down the thoughts whatever come across one's mind!!! I am sure people will be confused as to why am I writing about diaries on a BLOG.... Well.. Well.. Diary is something that has initiated the blog(I feel so).. Till a few years back, we just had diaries for jotting down our thoughts.

One question that comes to my mind is: Are we really honest with our diaries? Sometimes diaries can contain the deepest of desires and the darkest of secrers. This quite a subjective question.While some may write each and everything that they want to, others may refrain out of fear that somebody might read it. Diary is one way of recording important events which we might forget later on. It also serves as a reference point, if we are searching for any particular date/activity/events. I still remember, my Nanaji used to write diary everyday and he did so till the last day of his life. Infact he had preserved all of his diaries.

Writing diaries can be very relaxing. I also feel that people who are reserved and dont talk much, writing is a good option. Also there are instances where we just want to take out our frustration, desires, thoughts without letting anyone know. It can record our good times, bad times, fun times, achievements, failures, dreams, just about everything. It also serves as a resolution to our problems. It happens many a times that we keep on brooding over the problems. Writing diary can help you reach to a solution. It has happened with me. When I think about the problem continously, I dont find a solution. But when I leave it aside for a while and write, the solution strikes me.

Thanks to the computer age, I have stopped writing diary but have started to blog!!!! I hope to continue with it as long as I can, otherwise back to my dear diary......

Friday, May 19, 2006

Unexpected Surprise!!!!

Now.. now.... This is called as a pleasant surprise(again). The world is such a small place. While having lunch in the cafeteria yesterday, I saw someone and I was stunned. The lady sitting next to my table was none other than my English Teacher. I looked at her twice, thrice just to make sure that what I am seeing is correct. Yes, she is... Just prior to this post, I had posted about my school days and today my English Teacher is sitting next to me. Could't hold my excitement. Walked up to her and introduced myself. She couldnt remember my face though, which was obvious since she taught me for just two years in school. She still looked the same as 11 years back. She used to be the smartest teacher around. Not only students but even male teachers used to admire her. I still remember the perfect way she used to drape her saree, the way she used to carry herself and the way she used to speak. There was something good about her. It was so nice to meet her and speak to her. I was curious to know how come she is in the same office as I am. She said that she is conducting training programs for our company. It was such a pleasure to meet her after such a long time.....

God!!! I want to go back to school again.........

Thursday, May 18, 2006

More than a decade....

Its been more than a decade since I am out of school, 11 years to be precise. But it seems just like yesterday. Just a few days back one of my cousin speaking about his anxiousness to know his results. My school days flashed in a spur of moment in front of me. How I wish I was in school again!!! The only thing that I had in my mind at that time was my studies.. Nothing else. It didnt matter to me how the other class fellow is performing, what does future has in store for me, when and how will I get married, what will I do in my life, which college will I go to, what industry will I get into, how much money will I earn!!! God, those were such blissful days.

I used to sit on the last bench in my class with another friend of mine. We were the only two girals sitting on the last bench. Rest of the girls used to sit in the front where the classroom started and we sat where the classroom ended. How boys used to envy our seat since it was the perfect place for them to escape, if needed. Infact other girls used to think that how can we manage alone on the last bench. The reality is that sitting on the last bench had its own advantages. We could see what all is going on in the class and who is playing what pranks on others. Also it brought I and my friend so close to each other that we are still good friends and remember our good old days. The endless talks I used to have with her during free periods or zero periods.. I still miss them...

Hindi period used to be fun period again. Around 90% of the class used to leave to attend Maths class in the other section. The period used to be just before the lunch break but the tiffins used to be already out.. Aah!!! the smell of those parathas and achaar...... It used to be yum!!! Even our teacher had a doubt that we girls eat tiffin during her period. When she caught us one day, we offered her as well. She just smiled and didnt say anything. Ofcourse I knew that she likes me since I used to score one of the highest marks in Hindi.

I still remember one of the incident distinctively. It happened in Class XII. A boy from our section and another section had a fight in the football ground. The boy from my section was suspended since he was quite notorious and the other one was not, probably because he was one of the toppers. The whole of our section did a revolt. We even named it Revolt of 1995. We refused to study. Our demand was either suspend the other boy or get the boy from our section back to school. At the same time the other section also revolted against the indiscipline in school. As far as I remember this happened for 2-3 days. Those were fun days. No studies. Our class was locked. Finally, after few warnings, we had to get back to study.

I wish I could get back to school again!!!! Those were the best days of my life.....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

All work and no play.....

Exactly!!! This is what my situation is currently. Its just work, work and more work. In a way its really good that I have loads of work which keeps me busy throughout the day. But, hello!! what about the weekend?? Am I supposed to work over the weekend as well... I dont think so. Even I also need time for myself. I want to think about myself, get that pedicure done that I am thinking of since a long time, go and meet my friend, clean my cupboard, iron my clothes, get a pair of footwear which is pending, buy some cards, call up my friends, write emails to my friends and moreover just catch up with my sleep. Things seem to be quite different right now. Am just overloaded with work. Just a few weeks back, I was moaning with No Work. I really dont know where all my time goes on a weekend. Its always something or other which someone else wants me to do and not what I want to do. If this is the way life is going to be, I will just land up being a machine with no emotions, sentiments, likings... I dont want to be like that.

Just waiting that this hectic period gets over so that I get sometime for myself......

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Arranged Marriages.....

Is it so difficult to decide that 'Yes, this is the person that I wanna marry!!' Well, I think it is. How can you just decide in a meeting or two that he is the perfect one for you, that he is the one you would like to spend rest of your life with. Many of us go through this situation and accept this so called perfect pairing decided by our parents. First the bio-data is exchanged and then the photographs. If both the families like them, they go ahead and match the janampatris... Dont want to take any chance if either of them turns to be a mangli or their gunas dont match upto a certain level. Then comes the process of meeting.

Poor girl... what all she has to go through for that. She needs to look at her best. dress up in saree, put make up, leave the hair open, look like a shy girl, speak less, just smile, get a tray of tea along with some snacks which are supposedly made by her, show her paintings, greet everyone with a namaste and a pallu over her head..... urrrgh!!!!!! Now the girl is being asked what all can she cook, what has she done, what is she doing now, whether she wants to work after marriage or not. Finally, the guy's family give their decision... This is too much... Why cant people just let the girl be her normal self ? Why does she have to look like a made up doll? Why cant they just let the girl and the guy talk normally without all this taam-jhaam? Why cant they leave them to decide themselves whether they can go ahead with the relationship ? Let them meet for few times and then reach to a conclusion.

I just hope that nothing of this sort happens with me.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Appraisal

Its that time of the year when we have to prove that we deserve that much awaited promotion, bonus, raise, rating, that we are the best performer, we exceeded the expectation. Phew!!! Sometimes its really difficult to prove all these. Moreover a person like me who does not boast around about the good work done, finds it more complex. Guess this happens with many people in many organisations. I dont even pen down the good work done. Whatever I have done till now, have learnt it on my own. There was no one to guide me, coach me, mentor me. I had my share of pitfalls, escalations but then came out of them alone. Not sure what will I say in my appraisal. The way things have been for the last 6 months, I am not expecting any good rating. Dont know what my PM has to say about me.

I also think that work is affected by our day to day lives as well many times. If we have problems at home, in our personal life, somewhere or ther other it does affects our work. At that back of our mind, we tend to think about the other problem and we are not able to deliver the best.

I always try to keep my personal life away from my professional life. But sometimes I am not able to do so. I am a human being and I am bound to get affected. I cant detach me from myself. So at the end of it, when I am tensed, my work suffers due to which my appraisal, which affects my rating and then the raise that I am expecting!!!!

A vicious circle (something about which I read in economics in school)........

Monday, May 08, 2006

Home in a Home


Just a few days back I noticed a small nest outside my balcony near the window. Was wondering whether its a old one and will it be used by any of the birds. After a couple of days I saw that a pigeon was sitting there. and Voila!! what did I find there.. Two small eggs being laid. My happiness knew no bounds. Somebody has found my house suitable enough to lay their eggs. They are such tiny eggs. Am waiting for the day when small pigeons will hatch out of them. Am just too glad......

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Off the track!!!

This is one of those days when I am not feeling good. Everything around me seems to be going wrong and I am cribbing. Started off in the morning only. First the electricity went off. Damn!!! It is so hot and on top of it, there is no electricity. Somehow got up and pulled the lever for back up. After that the maid turned up late. She was rude and didnt work properly. Lost temper on her as well. Guess it was a bad day for her as well. She was taking out someone else' frustration. Mom also took out her frustration on me since she couldnt get her work done. Is it my fault that someone else doesnt turn up on time?

The last thing that could have gone wrong was at work. My colleague called me and started giving me a lecture in front of the whole team, not realising that we are seniors. If he had something to tell me, he should have spoken to me in person and not in front of the whole team. People can be so unprofessional and they claim to have 7+ years of experience. Guess these are basic manners which do not come with years of experience but how you are brought up. Told him about my concern later and I hope that he keeps this in mind.

All this has really put me off. More than half of the day has gone and I am just wondering what evening has in store for me. Just hope that everything goes well in today's meeting. Amen!!!